Clearly, my lack of sleep over the last week or so is taking its toll.

I have no patience for stupid people. Especially stupid impatient people. How contradictory.

Today I went to Costco. I for some reason thought going on a weekday would be less busy. Boy, was I wrong. I forgot about the Easter rush. There were crowds five people deep around the spiral cut hams, cases of eggs and the wine. Because nothing says celebrating the resurrection like a case of merlot.

G decided to test out the acoustics and let out a few of his eardrum rupturing dog whistle screams. I apologized to all those within earshot (so basically this included the whole store - he is THAT loud).

Luckily I only needed a few items for Easter dinner - the aforementioned ham, some green beans, some mushrooms. What a relief (and a surprise) to spend less than $50 in Costco. Don't I get some kind of award for that?

We checked out quickly and made it out the door to the massive yet jammed parking lot. As I was crossing the lane from the store to the lot, a guy in a huge SUV spotted me and started following me for my spot.

At this point, I'm tired and have a kid who is clearly overdue for a nap. So I'm not feeling too charitable. As we near my car, I notice there are more than a few spots not more than 50 yards away. Good, I think, he won't sit there, with his blinker on, and wait for me to load my food, my kid, and myself. That would be silly.

I gave the guy too much credit. He sat there. With his blinker on. Looking impatient. Blocking traffic.

There were a few options here. I could have thrown my food in haphazardly, put G into his car seat without checking all the straps and gizmos to make sure he was secure, and pealed out of my space.

I went with my instinct. As slowly as humanly possible, I unbelted G, and got him into his car seat. I carefully readjusted his straps, found his blankie, gave him his sippy of water and a bunch of kisses on his head.

Then I moseyed on back to the trunk and loaded my groceries, almost one item at a time (I only had a few, but I had to make sure they were all in a place they wouldn't get squished or leak).

I am a total good Samaritan and ALWAYS put my cart away, so even though I was parked next to the cart round up, I took my sweet time putting the cart away - I mean, I had to make sure it lined up with the other carts, and that it wouldn't roll back out into the lot. It's the only polite thing to do.

I took a peek at stall stalker and he looks pissed.

Ha. Mission accomplished.

Once in the car, I was thirsty so I reached for my water bottle and took a nice long refreshing drink. One more check of G - he needed his sippy handed back to him - and then I went about making sure my mirrors were adjusted properly.

The whole thing was getting boring to me, so it was time to leave. I thought I had sufficiently raised this guy's blood pressure.

I was convinced that he would give up at some point in the whole process and drive the 50 yards to the other spaces.

He didn't. As I pulled away he screeched into my spot. Some people's kids, I tell you.


Heather said...

Thank you for making me LAUGH tonight! I am having one of those days and your post was hilarious!

Andrea said...

I'm with you on this. I finally just started waving those crazy people on when I notice they are going to wait for a lady with a full cart and THREE little kids. How lazy are these people?