Missing Pants With Waistbands...

Okay, truthfully, I am missing pants.

We are t-minus six days till delivery and I can no longer deal with waistbands of any variety...regular OR maternity. And lets not even talk about shirts. Nothing is covering the belly at this point in time. I've slipped into the realm of maxi dresses, tunics and leggings.

Folks, I'm huge.

Yes, the water retention I'd staved off for so long has reared it's ugly head. Hello, cankles! I will say I'm thankful they waited until now to show up. I remember sitting in the tub at 7 months during my first pregnancy and screaming out to my poor husband, "Get in here!"

Poor guy came racing in to me pointing tearfully to my legs.

"I have elephant ankles," I sobbed.

And from that day on, it was all about the Crocs for me. That was all I could shove my poor swollen feet into...and was a GREAT look for work where I was required to dress office casual.

So this time, I'm trying to take it in stride. This too shall pass, hopefully at the hospital, in the form of pee or sweat...

I'll tell you what I'm not looking forward to - losing the baby weight. After my son, I didn't even really start losing the weight till a YEAR after he was born. And even then it was a struggle. Honestly, the factors that finally helped me drop the weight were: losing my job, caring for my dying mother in law, quitting breastfeeding after two years and training for a half marathon.

Two of those things I don't care to repeat. Stress as a diet is not a great option, trust.

So on to the ending breastfeeding - you might be like "Well, doesn't breastfeeding help you lose weight?"

In a word (or two) : eff no.

I am in the lucky .05% of women who hang onto pregnancy weight while breastfeeding. At least that's what my doc told me. Maybe he was just trying to soothe my borderline PPD.

Regardless, I will be breastfeeding this baby. I'm hoping against all hope that this time around, I can be one of those bitches who breezily says "I breastfed and the weight just evaporated."

I'm looking at you, Gisele.

Otherwise, running, here I come. Just call me Forrest Gump.

Revolution.

I'm over here today.

I haven't been blogging about weight loss much or at all over here since I started contributing over at the Sisterhood, but I just have to say that I'm about 3 pounds away from losing 20 since March.

I KNOW.

It's not going super fast, but it's going. I'm starting to see the outline of my former self. Even though I know my body will never get back to exactly where it was pre-baby, that's just fine with me.

So, that said, I just wanted to once again spread the word about our new challenge over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. It's called Rethink You Shrink, and it. is. amazing.

If you want to lose some weight...if you're trying to work on your self image...if you're trying to get in shape - check it out.

Seriously. I'm not kidding. This is some good stuff.

Guess What?

I haven't decorated the tree yet.

Oh wait. We don't even have a tree yet...

I haven't done any Christmas shopping except for G-Rex. Even though I spent eight hours shopping yesterday with Tiff and Jenn. By the way, I think I want to live in Toys R Us. I must have been deprived of toys as a kid because I couldn't tear myself away from the Little People, Playmobil or Imaginext. I am STILL waiting for my Barbie Dream House (my friend Andrea had the sweetest Barbie setup as kids. And I'm pretty sure we were still playing Barbies till we were twelve or so. My mom didn't like me to have Barbies, so I needed my fix. This is the longest aside, ever. Shoot.).

I haven't managed to get all the vacation laundry put away yet. I have this lofty goal of cleaning out the closets before I store everything, and making a trip to Goodwill. But as of right now, it looks like all my closets threw up.

I have not done any Christmas baking. Or crafts. Probably a good thing about the baking, because I kind of have a problem with baked goods. As in, they seem to attach directly to my ass.

I am all sorts of disorganized and unmotivated right now.

But, I have kept running. I HAVE TO. Because I have committed to run a freaking half marathon in June. The San Diego Rock and Roll 1/2, with Team in Training (more on that later). So, fear of humiliation and vomiting during the race is my motivation there. Whatever works. Plus, I finally get to meet my girls from the Sisterhood in the flesh. It's going to be stellar. I seriously cannot wait.

I have been reading. Vacation reading, my favorite. I read Push (the novel the movie Precious is based on) in two hours. It made my heart hurt. Don't get me wrong, I completely and wholeheartedly recommend it, but it was gutwrenching.

On the other end of the spectrum, I read both of Chelsea Handler's books, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands and Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. I LOVE HER. Anybody who can make me belly laugh in public whilst reading is good, very good. Just a warning. If you are easily offended by sex, language, sex, drinking, equal opportunity racial profiling, sex or bodily functions, you may not like her books. They're like reading the diary of your crazy college roommate. Because I never did anything in college in a drunken stupor that was completely stupid. No, not me.

Tomorrow, I will go pick up my Christmas cards, which I managed to design and order online today. I will go to the god awful post office and buy stamps.

Perhaps, if I can completely channel Martha Stewart (or at least Rachael Ray), I will bake some sugar cookies to decorate.

And I will keep them far away from the dogs.

Shrink-a-Versary Extravaganza!

There are some VERY exciting things happening over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.

I'm serious. VERY EXCITING.

Tomorrow we start our newest challenge - running from October 28 through December 16th. That's seven weeks to whip your heinie into shape before the Holidays!

And there's more. This challenge coincides with the Sisterhood's one year anniversary. There will be much celebration. And giveaways galore.

So, if you've been looking to drop a few pounds (or stone) and get fit with some serious Sisterhood (boys are welcome too!) support, make sure you visit the Sisterhood tomorrow for all the details.

Running Stigmata

I've been doing the C25K for about five weeks now. I'm pretty proud of myself, sticking with it this long. I have kind of a short attention span with exercise. And I really, really, REALLY hate to run.

But I know running is the quickest, cheapest way to get in shape. So there it is. I'm trying to be practical.

The area around my home is hilly hell. I do my best to plot out as flat a course as possible, because, while I'm up for a challenge, I'm not certifiable. Just yet, at least. We live at the top of the hill, so my normal plan of attack is to do my warm up by getting down the hill, I do my run at starting at the base, and I do track backs all the way up. Usually I hit the uphill part on the walking part of my intervals, so that's okay. I have had a few runs where I accidentally timed it out wrong and ended up running up most of the hills. Then I was unable to walk/stand/exist without groaning in pain for three days.

I'll try to avoid that in the future.

All the while, I still despise running, but I've been trying to turn it around and make it my time to focus, think, plan.

Lately, I've been looking at other houses in the neighborhood, trying to come up with some way to expand our living space that requires minimal wall demolition. Most of the houses around here are the same vintage, and have similar floor plans, but a few have added on, so they're good reference for what works, and what doesn't.

I get a little swept away in the possibilities sometimes. And then I don't pay close enough attention to my feet.

Which for me, is not good.

In fact, it's very bad.

Which is why, when I hit a pothole and loose gravel the other day, I wasn't able to correct myself. For a split second, I thought I could, but no. OHNO.

I went down like a ton of bricks, rolling my ankle and landing hard on my knees and the heels of my hands. Sitting there for a few minutes, doing the sharp intake of air hiss that is supposed to help you refrain from screaming curses, I assessed the damage.

Knees were a little skinned, but not too terrible. For some reason I had changed from shorts to pants right before leaving home.

My hands, on the other hand (HA), were not so lucky.

Behold.


This is four days later. Gross. At the actual time of the fall, they were bloody hamburger, with little pieces of gravel lodged in the gouges. I had to perform minor surgery on myself to clean up. Puke.

I never knew how much I actually used the heels of my hands, but this injury has brought swift and painful attention to the fact that I do, in fact, need them. Not to mention how bloody achy my wrists have been from bearing the brunt of my entire upper body weight.

Generally speaking, I would normally use this as an excuse to stop running. FAR TOO DANGEROUS! But I'm pushing forward.

And it was so sweet the other day, when I went out for my first run post fall. My thoughtful husband called out, as he was leaving for work:

B: "Are you going to Toys r' Us today?"

ME: "Um, no. Why - do you need something?"

B: "For your helmet and pads."

Ha.

Though, honestly, not a bad idea.

Run Baby Run

It's official.

I am attempting a 5K in September. Melissa and I are looking at two races, the Evergreen Race for Fetal Hope or the Dawg Dash at the University of Washington. Maybe both. Probably just one. Because I don't hate myself that much.

She mentioned something called the Iron Girl, and I thought I may have to end the friendship right then and there. Because it brought fear into my heart - a tri? Scary. I'm not so big into the crazy races, the ones where people actually soil themselves during the race because they don't want to stop. But then I read about it and it's just a 5 or 10K. So, Melissa, we're okay. Whew.

I know I can do a 5K, I've done one before, and all without vomiting. Almost puked, but held back. And got a decent time as well, all under 10 minute miles, which is huge for me. HUGE.

Because, as I've mentioned, I'm the girl who hid during running in track or P.E. And if they made me run, oh, how I whined.

God, I was a pain in the ass.

Today is the Greatest.

I must be easy to please. But today, so far (and it's only 10 a.m., mind), has been pretty fabulous.

Why?

1) The sun is shining and I'm sipping on a homemade iced coffee.

2) I got out for a run this morning to start out my newest mission (with my friend Melissa) - Couch to 5K. I have done it before, but it was B.C. (before child). Adding a stroller to the mix adds a whole new dimension. Considering I detest running, I felt pretty damn good this morning. And when I say detest, I mean, I used to hide under the bleachers during track practice during the group run. No joke.

3. When I got back from my run, I checked my email and I won this Cedar Plank Grilling Kit from Food Blogga. I can't tell you how excited I am to try grilling with cedar planks. Plus, it's just always fabulous to win things, isn't it? I won these ToeSox from the Sisterhood a few months ago, and I never knew how happy a pair of socks could make me. So, I'm thinking I may be on a roll with the winning. Now my fingers are crossed for this or this. No whammies, no whammies.

I am hoping the day continues on this path. I'm pretty easy to please. I 'd settle for a day when G does not swan dive off of the coffee table (I am seriously looking into a helmet). Or maybe my dogs can refrain from knocking over their water dish and then tracking it all over the house.

And maybe, just maybe, the laundry fairy will show up at my house and fold the three foot pile of clean clothes by the washer.

Cross your fingers for me.

Case of the Mondays.

Can you really have a case of the Mondays when all days meld into one? Half the time I don't even know what day it is...but today feels very much like I remember Mondays when I was trudging to the office. I can't believe it's almost been three months!

What's the problem?

Well...since you asked....

1) Chapped lips. Yes, this sounds insignificant, but seriously, don't chapped lips just suck? When I get them, they are awful. And then I CAN'T STOP LICKING THEM. I have this great stuff from Kiehl's, which is basically fancy petroleum jelly, but I swear by it. However, it usually takes a few days to completely rid me of my heinous, crusty chapped lips. So I suffer. Booooo!

2) I am sore all over from yard work, and from Stroller Strides, which I started today. Which should be a good thing, except I step on the scale - which, by the way, I seem to need to step on every single time I pass by - and I'm up. Which makes me want to throw things - especially said scale. Which brings me to...

3) B announces this morning that he LOST FIVE POUNDS IN HIS SLEEP. After this proclamation, he systematically runs through the list of what he ate directly before bedtime - two lunch size bags of Sunchips, five chocolate chip cookies, Starburst...

4) G has been consistently waking up and needing comforting (from me) every two hours all night long. Somehow he makes it every two hours on the dot - I'm not kidding or exaggerating - I check the clock each time I roll out of bed (and being as sore as I am, I'm literally rolling onto the floor then almost crawling). I think he is teething, because he's drooling like a mastiff all shot up with Novocaine.

5) Did I mention he's not napping?

6) And finally, SWINE FLU. Why is it annoying me? Because of all the freaking out! Clearly it is a cause for concern, and I'm not so cold-hearted that I don't feel anything for those suffering or dying from it, but the panic starts to irritate me. There was a news story on last night about people in my area who were freaking out and trying to buy Tamiflu from the local drugstore. There has not been one case reported even NEAR here. So everyone, chill the *#& out and wash your hands. Stop going to the ER because you have a cough and a 101 fever.

I'm going to be happy when this day is over.

Mondays - yeah, I'm STILL not a fan.