Yesterday marked four weeks unemployed. It's surreal.
The strangest part is that I can hardly remember what it was like to work there. Yes, I miss the free coffee - seriously, the word MISS is an understatement. I ACHE for the free coffee. I drive by the stores and have to resist the magnetic pull because I absolutely refuse to spend any money feeding the beast.
The good news is the pain of rejection has faded and now I'm on to wondering what I'm going to do next.
Everyday, I do the usual job scan - Craigslist, Monster - and I am telling you, there is NOTHING. Its scary. I guess I could go back into the legal field but I honestly don't feel like going back on meds. Because I usually end up on meds when I work with attorneys (yes, there are some nice attorneys out there - but I haven't worked for them).
I was just getting to a point and had finally found a job that I felt was actually a career - something I could sink my teeth into and actually advance. But now, with only about a year and half of real estate experience under my belt, and very specialized experience at that, I'm kind of dead in the water.
This is the worst possible time to start a business, but all the time I fantasize about being self employed. I rack my brain...what am I good at? What can I offer that people would actually pay money for? Hmmmm. That last question just begs for a smart-ass comment. I won't go there!
What it comes down to is I can't justify leaving my child in childcare for a mediocre paying job that I'm not passionate about. I'm trying to see this as an opportunity to really stretch myself and dig deep to see where my talent and interest really lies.
And it takes me to this question: when I was little, what did I want to be when I grew up? The answer is the same across the board - a writer. That is, I wanted to be a writer until I got old enough to realize that being a writer just wasn't a practical profession. Then I wanted to be a teacher. Until I realized I didn't want to be overworked and underpaid.
Now, as I ponder my options (or lack thereof) my mind consistently wanders back to those two things. Maybe I should be more open to those things that excited me as a child. Perhaps the honest and open mind of a child has more depth than we give credit.
What do you want to be when you grow up?