7.16.2009

Airing of the Grievances.

I'm in a pretty gosh darn chipper mood today. But when I was out on my run, I got kind of irritated about something (I will elaborate below) and got to thinking about little weird pet peeves I have. Is it surprising I have quite a few? Don't answer that. So without further ado, five things that I've found annoying as of late. Enjoy.

1. Chubby Girl Shorts: This is what got the whole inner rant started. It's fairly hot today (80's, hot for HERE at least) and I needed to wear shorts for my run. So I start out and within five seconds my shorts are creeping up my inner thigh. To the point where it's obscene. My thighs were eating my shorts. Ugh. If you are one of those people who don't know what I'm talking about or whose thighs don't touch, we're no longer on speaking terms. Just so you know.


2. Hair Elastics That Are Just Not the Right Size: I have very thick hair. And I wear it back a lot. Okay, pretty much all the time. When I need it really secure though, I'm pretty much out of luck. Because I can't find a damn hair elastic that is big/small enough. It isn't tight enough at two turns, but won't go for three. Those a-holes at Goody are out to get me.


3. People Talking to You When You're Getting a Pedicure: I know they're just being friendly. But come on guys, I hardly ever get out. I get like, one, maybe two pedicures a year. Please let me bask in the loveliness of the massage chair. Let's nix the small talk, shall we? And please, please can we bring back the cheese grater? I miss that thing. Freaking health department and their codes...bah!

4. Being M.J. Judgemental: You know, maybe he did like little boys. Maybe not. But dude, if you tell me one more time I shouldn't feel sad over his passing...don't get me started. Michael Jackson music was so formative for me, so excuse me for rocking out to a little P.Y.T. while I'm driving.

5. How Much I Sweat: I am not exaggerating when I say I'm probably the sweatiest person I know, besides my Dad and Grandpa. I inherit this lovely trait from that side. THANKS GUYS! True story - when I was sixteen I wore a linen dress to a basketball tournament in July. It was like 90 degrees out. About two hours in, my girlfriend pointed in horror to my side. I had sweat so much that the pit stains had soaked to my waist. That's not a typo - TO MY WAIST. MY WAIST. It would be mortifying now, so it would be potential for throwing oneself off of a bridge at the tender age of sixteen. So, seventeen years later I'm still super duper sweaty. I always have to think about my crazy sweating when I'm buying clothes - I ruin white shirts after a few wearings. I've looked into underarm botox several times. But, alas, I'm scared of needles. Maybe I'll get that surgery to have my sweat glands removed.

What's bugging you? Please tell me in the comments, I adore a good whine!

7 comments:

Andrea said...

I hear you on the shorts thing. And rock out to MJ all you want but my pet peeve is 30 something mom at the wading pool wearing a cheap MJ R.I.P. shirt. Don't do that.

laurieliz said...

LOL at your thighs eating your shorts!!! I have the same problem! My solution has been buying mens athletic shorts in a smaller size- changed my life!

laurieliz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ann said...

My biggest grievance right now is my almost 19 year old son and his arrogant behavior that seems to be rubbing off onto my 5 1/2 year old!
I'm so angry with him I can't even speak to him right now!!!!!!

Heather said...

I hate my short eating thighs! None of my non-maternity pants/shorts/or anything fit at the moment. I tried to put shorts on today and well lets just say that all my fat ate the whole pair! Not pretty at all! My pet peeve right now is my idiot MIL! She is a pain in my arse and I am glad she lives far away!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

I see where you're coming on all of these! And you crack me up.

Steph

Melissa said...

Haha! I hear you on the shorts. It's not the cutest, but the best solution that I have come up with is to wear spandex shorts. I would suggest the kind without the checkered neon stripe down the side - LOL! But really if you wear them with a longer shirt, it's really not that offending to those around you and you don't get the riding up shorts or the chaffing. Depending on the situation, sometimes I'll wear them under shorts and that works too.

I'm also with you on the pedicure talk and feel the same way when it comes to massages and flying. Even getting a haircut/color at the salon. Give me peace! Small talk drives me crazy. Try bringing an iPod next time. You don't even have to turn it on! :)

Oh and I might be able to compete with you on the sweating thing. Seriously. Have you ever tried Certain Dri? It's pretty powerful stuff - just don't use it right after shaving or it will hurt like a mf.