Run Baby Run

It's official.

I am attempting a 5K in September. Melissa and I are looking at two races, the Evergreen Race for Fetal Hope or the Dawg Dash at the University of Washington. Maybe both. Probably just one. Because I don't hate myself that much.

She mentioned something called the Iron Girl, and I thought I may have to end the friendship right then and there. Because it brought fear into my heart - a tri? Scary. I'm not so big into the crazy races, the ones where people actually soil themselves during the race because they don't want to stop. But then I read about it and it's just a 5 or 10K. So, Melissa, we're okay. Whew.

I know I can do a 5K, I've done one before, and all without vomiting. Almost puked, but held back. And got a decent time as well, all under 10 minute miles, which is huge for me. HUGE.

Because, as I've mentioned, I'm the girl who hid during running in track or P.E. And if they made me run, oh, how I whined.

God, I was a pain in the ass.

Today is the Greatest.

I must be easy to please. But today, so far (and it's only 10 a.m., mind), has been pretty fabulous.

Why?

1) The sun is shining and I'm sipping on a homemade iced coffee.

2) I got out for a run this morning to start out my newest mission (with my friend Melissa) - Couch to 5K. I have done it before, but it was B.C. (before child). Adding a stroller to the mix adds a whole new dimension. Considering I detest running, I felt pretty damn good this morning. And when I say detest, I mean, I used to hide under the bleachers during track practice during the group run. No joke.

3. When I got back from my run, I checked my email and I won this Cedar Plank Grilling Kit from Food Blogga. I can't tell you how excited I am to try grilling with cedar planks. Plus, it's just always fabulous to win things, isn't it? I won these ToeSox from the Sisterhood a few months ago, and I never knew how happy a pair of socks could make me. So, I'm thinking I may be on a roll with the winning. Now my fingers are crossed for this or this. No whammies, no whammies.

I am hoping the day continues on this path. I'm pretty easy to please. I 'd settle for a day when G does not swan dive off of the coffee table (I am seriously looking into a helmet). Or maybe my dogs can refrain from knocking over their water dish and then tracking it all over the house.

And maybe, just maybe, the laundry fairy will show up at my house and fold the three foot pile of clean clothes by the washer.

Cross your fingers for me.

Twit

I joined Twitter.

I have been avoiding it for ages. But the power of Twitter compelled me and now I've done gone and drunk the Kool Aid.

Thoughts so far? Well, first of all, I think I am WAY to boring to do that many updates. I have a hard enough time coming up with something to blog about most days. I mean, what do I say? I just washed my hair? My kid just fell off of the coffee table for the fifth time today? I think my cat is bulimic? (I'm serious about that. I think she is. She eats and eats then pukes it all up. I swear I saw her sticking her fluffy paw down her throat.)

Secondly, I'm guessing Twitter is becoming uncool now that someone like me has joined. Like Facebook isn't as cool now that everyone's grandma has joined. Or when that underground band sells out and goes mainstream and just isn't as cool anymore. I'm usually late to the party. So I'd say rating things by when I catch on is a pretty good gauge.

So we'll see how this pans out. Since I don't have a mobile device with Internet, I'm guessing my tweets will be fairly infrequent.

Which is most likely good, cause I don't want to bore anyone to death.

Yay! Boo.

Good news: We just booked tickets to Kauai for Thanksgiving.

Bad news: I'm absolutely deathly terrified of flying with my son. I have a sneaking suspicion he's going to be 'that' kid.

You know, the one the other passengers are throwing bottles of Benedryl at while muttering under their breath at the audacity of those parents flying with such a child?

We have four months. Four months to condition a crazy kid into an airplane friendly kid. Is it possible? Am I dreaming? Are we crazy?

Don't answer that last one. I'm pretty sure that's a big 10-4.

Summertime - You Capture

Last weekend, we had a bit of summer. Just in time for our Father's Day barbecue. I took the opportunity to capture my niece, nephew, and of course G, at play.


There was lots of tumbling in the lawn.

And of course, catch with a beach ball.

A little attitude from my little dude.

And my beautiful niece, who is always a willing model.

Ah, summer. I miss it already.

For more summer, head over and visit Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Not a Shocker

After the craptastic week I've had, I haven to say I'm not entirely surprised that I'm up a bit on the scale this week. Not as much as I thought, but still, a gain.

Starting Weight: 178.8
Last Week's Weight: 176.1
This Week's Weight: 176.8

To be perfectly honest, my food choices were all about comfort and not about health this week. We were entertaining five out of seven days, and then the other two were unfortunately all about convenience and trying to recuperate. I didn't get nearly enough exercise this week. My body is not thanking me. Not at all.

I wish I could say that at least I enjoyed all the food...pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs, cake, bacon, pancakes. Beer. VODKA (that was absolutely a necessity, trust).

But I didn't. I didn't even taste it. Just down the hatch to try to make myself feel better.

News flash...that does not work.

So, this week's lesson - food does not equal comfort. And I have to give a big shout out to my wonderful Team Blue, who offered lots of support this week. It really did help, because I could very easily be in jail right now if you all hadn't talked me down a bit!

Time to regroup and focus.

GO TEAM BLUE!

What Are They Going to Call It Now?

I want to talk about something happy today. I had the best intentions.

And then I go and watch my DVR'd episode of Jon & Kate Plus Eight...

Mistake.

I was in tears. For reals. I don't know why I'm so emotional. If I wasn't sure I couldn't be pregnant, I'd be buying an EPT. And if I am, I'm suing Mirena.

I won't go on about THAT show, because I think it's just all around tragic. All I'm going to say is:

a) I think Kate has always had her controlling personality.
b) Clearly Jon has changed and is having some kind of early mid-life crisis. The hair plugs somehow affected his brain.
c) Yes, Jon, she isn't very nice to you, but maybe you should have taken that into account before you FATHERED EIGHT CHILDREN WITH HER.

Okay, done.

Except...did you get a load of the ice on Jon's ears? I wonder if he's gone out and gotten a tribal armband tattoo and motorcycle? Oh yeah, check on the motorcycle. Orange County Choppers hooked him up.

Okay, now I'm REALLY done.

It's becoming obvious that I watch entirely too much television. I was thinking about maybe not watching for a spell.

But then I remembered So You Think You Can Dance. And True Blood. And The Next Food Network Star.

Maybe I'll just stop watching TLC.

Yeah, that's the ticket...

Made It.

I wanted to say something about Father's Day yesterday, but darn it all if I just couldn't force my brain into writing mode, much less my fingers into typing mode.

I was so tired last night I actually sat and watched one of the crappiest movies I've ever seen. Babylon A.D. Sorry Vin Diesel, but you owe me an hour and a half of my life back.

Our extended house guests left at about 10 am yesterday. That left me with about 5 hours to re-clean the house and cook before our second wave of guests arrived for Father's Day.

Suffice it to say, at 2:50 I was on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor wiping it down by hand because for some reason I thought that would be quicker than mopping. It wasn't. Duh.

Luckily I had chosen uncomplicated food (barbecued hamburgers) so the rest of the afternoon was pretty smooth. And I am blessed with a helpful sister-in-law and step-mother-in-law who actually help with cleanup. God bless 'em. Because if I had to do one more kitchen cleanup by myself this week, I'd probably be in the mental ward this morning.

I am so pleased I even made it through this entire weekend. I'm such a baby. I don't know why I find things like house guests so stressful.

All in all, I think Father's Day went well. I think B had a good time. It was the first Father's Day he's spent with his Dad in years. Seeing B's Dad running around with his grandkids was fabulous. He just radiates happiness when he's with them.

So, this week's goal is to get back into a schedule. Poor G is teething AGAIN and is just struggling. He needs some structure. I need it too.

And then, hopefully, I can write about something other than losing my mind.

Fresh

Better today, thank goodness.

I've been feeling like a bit of a downer. Today, I focused on being more positive. Actually, I started making a conscious effort last night.

My in laws came over and watched G last night while we went to the Mariner's game. Can I just say how much joy it brings me to see B's dad dote on my child? It's awesome. B and his dad haven't had much of a relationship for years, but over the last year, there's been a lot of healing.

It is so wonderful how a child can bring a family together, mend fences, build bridges. All those things.

So B and I were able to enjoy and evening at the ballpark, child free. We kept on asking each other - how would G be if he were here right now. Then we'd laugh together, and agree, he'd be CRAZY.

The roof was closed on the ballpark last night, but it wasn't cold. You could feel the moisture in the air and it just smelled fresh. At a ballpark. Funny. I'm guessing because it hasn't rained here in ages. We needed a cleansing rain.

Sometimes a little rain can help to wash away life's troubles and worries.

And it made me worry less about the fact my house looks like it was the site of a demolition derby.

When we arrived at home last night, we were regaled with all the genius things our child did while we were away (I'm wasn't joking - they called him a perfect angel. heh.). G was up, but not crazy tired, and went down for me easily, but not before jabbering on for a few minutes as I rocked and nursed him, about his night with his Grandpa.

Day started out rough, but ended just right.

Love it when that happens.

Hermit

It's 2:00 pm and I'm holed up in my bedroom.

Thankfully, B has logged me onto his laptop. Otherwise I'd be in here staring at the walls. Or face down with a pillow pulled tightly around my head.

It's day two of house guests and I'm done. D. O. N. E. Too bad they're here through Sunday.

Yes, you heard me. Sunday. As in two days from now.

The boys (okay, two men and an eleven year old) are out in the living room playing Halo. G is yelling in his crib refusing to take a needed nap as the boys are talking WAY TOO LOUDLY in the living room.

The only other female is pregnant and has been taking a nap since 11.

I want a nap. I need one. I'm crabby crabberson.

So here I am. Sequestered by choice. Antisocial much?

Nah, just gearing up for another meal prep, another solo kitchen clean up. A baseball game tonight - which under normal circumstances would be fun, but not so much when you go with someone who gets angry when another person sits in front of them in the stadium.

The nerve, right? Someone else plants their tush in the seat they paid for? Atrocious.

The last time we all went to a game, I was so fed up with the whining (yes, a thirty year old man whining) that I switched seats with him. Yeah, I couldn't see over the 6'4" gentleman in front of me, but it was better than the alternative.

And well, karma happened. No sooner had we switched, the empty seat in front of where I was sitting was taken. By a guy who was at least 6'6". It was deliciously perfect.

All this said, I can't say our house guests are bad people. They're not, they're quite nice, in fact. But three days is long for anyone.

After three days, I'd get sick of myself.

I Get So Emotional - You Capture

I think it's pretty safe to say that toddlers may be some of the most emotional creatures on the planet.

Besides pregnant women. And thirteen year old girls.

My little man is no exception. Please join me as I explore the emotions of G in his natural habitat.

We call this emotion 'YAAAAYYYY!' It is always denoted by hand clapping and jumping up and down.


This is a variation on 'YAAAAYYYY!' It is called, 'WHEEEEE!' This emotion also involves jumping about, but also high pitched shrieks. It's usually concluded with a trip, perhaps a bonk on the head, and a crying heap of child on the floor. Balloons ALWAYS incite the WHEEEEE! emotion.

Speaking of crying, we call this one 'I've played really hard and now suddenly am in great need of a nap, though I will never admit it.'

This next emotion, it's new to us. Shy. Or maybe it's 'Ewwww. Girls!' But I think that's still a few years down the road.

And lastly, Big Boy-ness. As in, I'm a big boy and I'm going to show you the ropes. Just follow my lead.

For more emotion, grab your kleenex and visit Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

I Broke My Scale. No. Really.

Today's my weekly weigh-in. I got up, peed (of course, that's an extra .25 pounds sometimes!), discarded every thread of clothing and stepped on the scale.

I looked down at my feet as the scale went from 120 to 153 to 83 and even up to around 200. It wouldn't stick anywhere (it is digital). Clearly, something was amiss.

I'd had this problem earlier in the week and had replaced the batteries. So I knew they should still work properly. I tried to recalibrate the scale. No dice.

At this point I'm pretty frustrated. How can I get my numbers in to my team? Ah, the Wii Fit!

Still undressed, I headed into the living room (yes, the blinds were closed) and hit the button on the Wii. I used it last night so I knew the disk was still there.

Right?

NO.

I texted B to ask where he'd put it - I was surprised he'd even taken it out, as he prefers his XBox to the Wii. But maybe he'd gotten bored and broken out the Mario Kart after I'd hit the sack last night.

But then I got to thinking. I'd seen G messing around in the cupboard where all the electronics are housed. Could he have taken the disk...no...not possible. How could he turn on the Wii, hit the eject, and pull out the disk? He's only 17 months old. That's a little complicated.

Never underestimate a toddler. I found the disk 45 minutes later when I picked up his blankie in the corner.

So, to make a long story longer, I weighed myself on the Wii. For the sake of accuracy, I took the amount lost on the Wii from last Wednesday and subtracted it from last week's scale weight.

Drumroll, please...

Starting Weight: 178.8
Last Week's Weight: 177.6
Today's Weight: 176.1

The Wii Fit saved the day!

And a new scale is on order from Amazon.

I am actually surprised I lost, the way I feel this morning. I'm heavy bodied, leaden. But I'll take it.

And no, I have not finished reading Master Your Metabolism, I'm ALMOST there. I just can't read as quickly these days. But, as a teaser, I'll tell you this:

Pretty much everything our food is packaged in is poison.
Soy milk is bad.
High Fructose Corn Syrup is the devil.
Organic is the only food to be ingested.

Yeah, I'm being a little dramatic, but frankly, the book is scaring me. I don't know how realistic a diet it would be for me, but I will finish and give more serious and thorough synopsis.

GO TEAM BLUE!!

Grammatical Sabbatical

Maybe it's from being out of work for a while. Or maybe being out of school for a LONG WHILE. But something horrifying is happening to me.

I am not proofreading. And I'm finding typos all over my muthatrucking blog - and not intentional, like muthatrucking - accidental, stupid mistakes.

I'm serious. This is like almost the end of the world for me. I am the proofreading master. The typo terrorist. The comma nazi.The bad mamma gramma(r). The super speller.

And now, well, I just don't even know myself anymore.

How could I let this happen? How could I let myself go like this?

WHEN DID I START RELYING ON SPELL CHECK? I used to laugh at those people. Especially my old boss (an attorney) who liked to type pubic instead of public on court docs. Ho ho. Good times, good times.

I have a B.A. in English. For. Fred's. Sake.

I am mortified. My blog deserves better than this! Next thing you know I'll be writing and anyways or for all intensive purposes and substituting pacific for specific.

Or, the very worst case scenario. IRREGARDLESS. I'm not joking. If I ever write that again, hunt me down and beat the shit out of me. I'm not kidding.

No really, I'm not kidding.

Normal (My Version)

Today was my last day as a mama of two. Well, surrogate mama of one, real mama of one.

I just took the extra car seat base out of my car. Packed up all the little baby toys. The baby recliner (bouncy seat) is back precariously perched in the eaves of the garage.

The moby wrap is in the washer. The bottle warmer is boxed up and shoved to a back kitchen shelf.

Tomorrow, it's back to me and G-man. We're going to Stroller Strides in the morning and then decorating a Father's Day craft in the park.

G gets Mama all to himself.

Since we've had an extra babe around, he has started pulling on my shirt and saying 'nurse'. He's kissing B and I on the lips and giving lots of hugs. He's talking up a a storm.

My little baby is...not a baby at all anymore.

The number one question I've been getting the last few weeks is: SO, ARE YOU READY FOR NUMBER TWO?

And I have a few answers:

1) EFF NO.
2) Are you talking about poop?
2) Sure, if you'll pay for my health insurance or lend - no GIVE, I don't want a loan - me the $20,000 so I can pay out of pocket for all my prenatal care and my C-Section. No, I am never attempting a VBAC. Sorry. NEVER.
3) HELL NO.

It's not that Baby E was difficult, but having more than one doesn't just double the work. It's multiplies it by a thousand. Not only are there the physical needs to contend with, there are the emotional ones as well, and the guilt that one child is not getting enough attention/love/nurturing.

Will we EVER have another? Of course. Just not right this second.

Unless you really do want to insure me. Or write me a check for 20k. Then I'll reconsider.

Progress (And the Infamous Water Table)

I am slowly but surely ticking things off of my to do list. We are having house guests from Thursday through Saturday, then a Father's Day barbecue at our house next Sunday.

Did I mention that I thought Father's Day was today until about three days ago? Suffice it to say, I felt like a moron and we shuffled and rescheduled to have the shindig on the actual day. Which is probably good, because there is no way I'd have been ready today.

What did I accomplish today?

Well. Let me tell you.

I finished re-covering my re-purposed outdoor chairs!

The chairs and table used to be our actual dining table. Yes, checkered marble on metal. Glorious. But, for outdoor, it's kind of fun and kitschy. The old chair seats were the same fabric as the back.

Except our clinically insane cats had clawed them to shreds and they were covered in cat hair.

Did I mention we left them out all winter in the rain?

I managed to salvage the foam from the seats (we haven't had rain here in weeks and I laid them it out to dry on the patio during the day. Add a staple gun and a little muscle (very little) - and my budget fabric ($4 a yard) and for under $30, I have an outdoor dining set. Score!

The next matter of business is my poor little garden. B was kind enough to install a sprinkler for me, and fertilize. The starts have been in the ground for two weeks but they're not doing so hot. B figured out the soil we had trucked in had not fully composted, so it's actually leaching nutrients from the soil and away from my poor veggies. Effing dirt.


I'm hoping for the best. My tomatoes are in pots and are doing very well. Whew. But B thinks that next year, once the soil is all happy, my garden will be much more productive. Fingers crossed!

And, for those of you who have been following my water table saga, I bring to you, without further ado, the toy itself (and my spastic dogs who make it into EVERY FREAKING PHOTO I TAKE).


G is pretty taken with the little squirty animals.

He is especially concerned about making sure they all make it into their cave.

Walrus and whale are safely tucked into their home, ready for night-night.

And My OCD Pays Off

Call me crazy (maybe not, because I might really be) but I just had a feeling today. An urgent need to check Toys r' Us just one more time.

I mean, we were in the neighborhood. Really, we were. I got my oil changed today at Sears and it's just across the road.

So on the way home, I told G that he was such a good little boy, Mama was going to get him a present.

Clearly, it's for me, but I'm all about justification right now.

I knew where the empty spot was where the water table had resided. It was still empty. Sigh.

But as I turned with a heavy heart to leave, I spied a stack on boxes on my left.

An entire stack of Arctic Water Tables!! They got a shipment this morning. I snatched that puppy up and marched right up to the checkout.

Now, it's all assembled and in our living room. I can't wait to get it outside with some water and see if G is even interested in it for more than five minutes.

Maybe I'll go test it out (play with it) tonight. That little walrus is calling my name.

Effing Today Show

A few weeks ago one my my friends (hi Melissa) told me about this nifty little water table they'd picked up for their daughter.

This is it. It is awesome. AWE. SOME. I think I may even enjoy playing with it more than the little man.

Well, I've been busy the last few weeks but had been meaning to go grab one for our little oasis (I am now referring to our backyard as the 'oasis' as we are relegated to it and only it this year. No vacations for us).

This brings me to this morning. I had the Today Show on in the background as I was bouncing on the exercise ball attempting to lull the littler man to sleep.

And they did a feature on summer toys. And one of the toys...you guessed it...MY WATER TABLE. Um. I mean G'S WATER TABLE.

And I knew it was ON. Now, we weren't talking featured on Oprah proportions, because if it's on Oprah, I know there is no chance I'm getting my mitts on one. But the Today show has a big audience. Lots of SAHMs.

It's Matt Lauer. I know it is. He is FOINE. Ahem.

At this point I know I've got to make the purchase today. There is a Toys r' Us between the littler man's home and ours.

At 11:30 I dropped the littler man with his mama, and sped up to the Toys r' Us. Straight to the summer toys. And there is a woman standing in front of where the toy is supposed to be. I hear her talking to a clerk who says they sold out this morning, but Target carries them.

And I'm off running to my car. There is a Target just down the road. I'm totally getting there before that lady.

Pull into Target. Unload child. Secure him in cart. Run.

And they're all sold out.

DUDE. I asked a clerk if he could check availability in other local stores.

There are THREE he says at a store about 20 minutes north. My friend Melissa (see above) lives there.

Do I email her to pick one up? Am I that LAME?

I think we all know the answer to that question.

She graciously agrees to hit that Target. I, in the meantime, call them to have them put one on hold. And I am informed their stock is incorrect.

They have sold out.

I am crushed.

Yes, I know I can order one online. But I'm not that into paying for shipping and waiting. Because round these parts, sun is very fleeting. In fact, we may have had the bulk of our nice weather already.

So tomorrow, I'm setting my mom on the case. Because if there is one to be found in the vicinity of Western Washington (and probably lower British Columbia and the Portland area), my mom will find it for her grandson.

Evil? Maybe. But I'm kind of obsessed.

You Capture - Nature

I was worried I would miss this week's challenge.

You see, I've not been outside much. I've walked around our neighborhood a few times, but I wouldn't exactly call that nature.

So, today, determined to participate, I packed up the double stroller with a Bjorn, lots of diapers, a bottle, sippy, crackers, Sophie the giraffe, several pacifiers, sun hats, a valium for me (ho ho ho, just kidding, but I kind of wish I did have one) and my camera and went to the park. The closest to nature I'm getting this week.

On our little nature walk, which only lasted about thirty minutes, we saw:

Lots of pretty flowers (okay, weeds really) ...



One of the many reasons I want to itch my eyes out of my face (grass allergies, boooo!):


Lots and lots of green - we do live in the Pacific Northwest, you know...


And some very tall trees with the lovely sun peeking through their branches.

I would love to say our nature walk was relaxing, but alas, it was the opposite. But we did get some fresh air, and I think I managed to convince the people we passed on the trail that the baby was, in fact, gassy and I wasn't poking him with pins.

To be one with nature, trek on over and visit Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Whew!

This is going to be short, because I'm sitting here after the walk from hell with a passed out babe in a Moby Wrap sweating on my chest. Little man has been in the stroller, the Bjorn, the bouncy seat and finally the Moby calmed him down. That and me doing 5000 squats while feeding him a bottle trying to soothe him to sleep.

G just finished jumping/crying himself to sleep in his crib. He squirmed and cried throughout our entire walk. Nothing made him happy. Not bankie, not his sippy, not even a cracker.

Some days I think children conspire to be absolutely insane. I think they're testing me.

So, with them both down, I'm going to try to take a much needed shower. Just hoping the babe doesn't wake up as I'm untangling us from the Moby.

This week, I lost. And not just my mind. I didn't lose as much poundage as I thought I would, but a I lost a little, and I'm okay with that.

This weeks results:

Starting Weight: 178.8
This Week's Weight: 177.6

As an aside, I'm reading Jillian Michaels 'Master Your Metabolism' and it's scaring the poo out of me. I'll give a synopsis when I'm done, I'm still trying to decide if the diet is something I could do. It seems really intensive and crazy.

Okay, off to shower I go.

And oh yeah...

GOTEAMBLUE!

Here

I wish I had something witty and interesting to write about.

But I don't. I'm just...here. Present. Accounted for.

Having two chitlins' in the house has given lots of food for thought but has robbed me of my short term memory. I'm deadly serious. I'm forgetting words, where I put things, and I've even had to run through every name in the house before I can remember my son's. Yes, the pet's names came out first. Then my husband's. I think my brother's got in there somewhere. And finally I sputtered out 'G!' as he was summitting yet another piece of furniture, teetering haphazardly on the top and then JUMPING UP AND DOWN.

Heeeeelp!

In all seriousness, I'm actually handling everything quite nicely. I've figured out the baby's cues Manic screaming = hungry. Grunting and squealing = working on monster blowout poo. I've learned how to catch G's wrists before he makes contact on the baby's head and say 'SOFT! Soooofttt!. He's trying to pat, but his interpretation is more of a smack. I've gotten them both down for a nap at the same time. Yeah, I'm pretty impressed with myself. That is MAJOR.

But damn. I am tired.

So, starting tomorrow, I'm going old school and carrying little notebook around with me to jot (did I just type jot?) down any ideas that go racing through my head, before they escape. Because as of right now, my retention level is nada.

I'm just here. And in a minute, I'll have my ass parked on the couch watching the utter filth that is True Blood.

That is, until I pass out from exhaustion about ten minutes in.

What's New Pussycat (Whoaa Whoaa Whoaaaaa)

I just had to give a birthday shout out to my all time favorite crooner, Tom Jones.
Dude is 69 years old today (I'm guessing this pic is a few years old). I've yet to see him live, but I swear, someday...

Again With the Poop

When I was in college, my roommate Christine and I used to sit around over a half rack of Coors Light musing about the deeper things in life.

Such as, poop.

We had this conversation where we came to the conclusion you could not say the word poop without laughing. We tried over and over again and erupted into fits of laughter every time.

I'm sure the beer had nothing to do with it.

Now, ten years later, poop is still a huge part of my life. Yes, I write about poop a lot. I can't help it. It's amazing how important it becomes when you have a kid. Too many? Not enough? I don't remember him eating [insert food here]? Did ALL of that seriously come out of my tiny little child? And so on.

So we're back to the pooping in the tub issue. But now, I think it's a game.

A messy, disgusting, gag-inducing game.

For three nights straight, G has looked me in the eye, bore down, and crapped in the tub. Clearly, he's doing it with purpose.

I was talking to my mom last night and she suggested maybe he's ready to try a potty.

'But he's not even 17 months old yet!' I protested. But it got me thinking. Could he really be ready to try to use a potty? My little baby? Could it be true?

Today, we make the trek to Babies r Us to pick out a potty. I'm so not ready for this, I haven't done any research on what kind to get, maybe a book I should read?

I'm not getting too excited over this, as it could turn out he just likes pooping in the tub. It must be a thrill having mommy gasp, grasp you under the arms and whisk you out of the tub, then try to figure out how to fish a turd out of the bubbles. I may buy a little goldfish net today too. And another jug of bleach.

If anyone has any potty training advice/product suggestions/book recommendations, I'm all ears.

And I am most definitely not letting him in the wading pool diaper less. I don't need a Caddyshack situation on my hands.

It's All About Meme...8 Things

The lovely April at My Life at Thirty tagged me the other day with this meme. I've been - ahem - a little busy with my mini daycare, but it's Friday night and here I am! Vodka in hand. Maybe my answers will get better as I finish my drink! Don't worry Team Blue, I'm drinking it with light cranberry juice. Still does the trick!

8 things I am looking forward to:

1. Going out for a belated birthday lunch with my girlfriend Lisa, who I haven't seen since I was laid off in February.
2. Possibly going to Kauai in November. My parents have a time share and B's boss has offered us airmiles so we can fly for free. FIRST CLASS. Do they let kids in first class? Hope so, because B probably won't like sitting by himself with the kiddo on the six hour flight. I kid, I kid.
3. Mariners Game in a couple of weeks. They'll most likely lose, but I can have a beer and garlic fries. Not too many (GOTEAMBLUE), just enough to burp garlic for a week.
4.Vodka.
5. I'm going to start watching the True Blood series before the next season starts. My DVR is recording them all. I LOVE VAMPIRES. What is wrong with me?
6. The Angels Game comes out on June 16. I love Carlos Ruiz Zafon. He writes in Spanish and it's translated to English. And his work is perfection!
7. Continuing summer weather and hanging out in the backyard.
8. Picking up the new Dave Matthews Band album.

8 things I did yesterday:

1. Changed double the amount of diapers than usual.
2. Learned how to wear a Moby Wrap.
3. Forgot to eat lunch. And I NEVER forget to eat.
4. Watered my garden.
5. Had a McDonald's soft serve (HEY, they're only like 2 points. For reals).
6. Pulled rocks out of my child's mouth.
7. Saw our phantom cat, Violet, who only shows up every 2 months or so.
8. Drove through a neighborhood I've never been to before just because (well, also to extend the lovely car nap G was enjoying).

8 things I wish I could do:

1. Start my own business. I want to be the boss of me!
2. Wear a bikini. No, make that LOOK GOOD in a bikini.
3. Sing well. And dance too. And maybe play a musical instrument.
4. Add another bathroom to our house. And maybe 1000 more square feet while I'm at it.
5. Live in London again for a bit. Or at least visit.
6. Go to culinary school.
7. Sleep for six hours straight.
8. Have Tom Colicchio cook me dinner. And do the dishes.
8.5 Have a McDonald's soft serve machine in my kitchen. Mmmm.

8 shows I watch:

1. American Idol
2. 90210 - the old reruns AND the new. Though I prefer the old. Donna Martin Graduates!
3. Big Love
4. Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Why am I admitting this?
5. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. Is it weird that I have a huge crush on Anthony Bourdain? He is wicked awesome!
6. 18 Kids & Counting because I have a Duggar obsession.
7. So You Think You Can Dance
8. Jack's Music Show.

8 Peeps Tagged:

1. Tiffiny @ the story of our life
2. Jenn @ Have you Hurd?
3. Andrea @ Train to Crazy
4. Jenny @ Yippie Kay Yea, Y'all
5. Karena @ The Long Road to Healthy
6. Thea @ I'm A Drama Mama
7. Ann @ She's Gonna Blow!
8. Mel @ The Melodramatic

You Capture - Feel

Hmmm. Feel. Shall we go with the tactile feel or the emotional feel? I can't decide.

So...


G FEELS a little insecure this week with the extra baby in the house. He's trying to fit in his Bumbo. It makes me FEEL a little sad, but it also makes me giggle a bit.

This is E. He loves the way Sophie the Giraffe FEELS on his gums. How cute is this little chubster?

I bet this yummy popsicle FELT good on a hot day!

G FEELS glee when his Gigi comes to visit. And it makes me FEEL wonderful to see their special bond.

And last but not least:

Damn, it FEELS good to be a gangsta!

To see more, go to I SHOULD BE FOLDING LAUNDRY. Now. With feeling!

Here I Go Again (Not) On My Own

I'm on board for another Sisterhood Challenge.

This time we're on teams (GO TEAM BLUE). I'm so excited to have a mini support group. And others to be accountable to.

So, I'm keeping this post short as banging on my keyboard is not helping the little gentleman to my right sleep. And I really need for him to nap. Stroller Strides was a DISASTER! What was I thinking? But I did get a little much needed exercise.

So, here are the stats:

Starting Weight: 178.8

Goal Weight (for this challenge): 168

Measurements:

Bust: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, BUT I'M TOTALLY STACKED!

Waist: 35" (WTF? Am I measuring wrong?)

Hips: 42" (Sir Mixalot just popped into my head. Except for me, it's 'Not so little in the middle AND she's got much back!)

GO TEAM BLUE!

LET'S DO THIS THING!

Another List Because My Brain Can't Manage Full Thoughts

Observations on Day Two.

1) Day two with two crumb crunchers was much easier than day one.

2) I do not take today's relative smoothness for granted. I know all hell could break loose tomorrow. Or the next day.

3) I now have no idle time during the day. If G is down, then E is up. If they're both down (has happened once), I had better be doing dishes, trying to eat something and going to the bathroom. And yes, I might have to eat something WHILE going to the bathroom. Multitasking, people!

4) I now know what it is like to care for a wearable baby. G was not a wearable infant. He flat out refused. So now, I'm rocking the Moby Wrap and it really works. That is the ONLY way E will fall asleep. Problem is, it's hotter than Hades and we're sweating all over each other.

5) G is handling this much better than I'd even hoped for. That nurse was SO WRONG. He is always bringing the baby toys, offering him crackers and actually cried today when we dropped E off at home. How sweet is that?

6) I am going to be completely crazy tomorrow and try to take both little dudes to Stroller Strides. Clearly the heat and my lack of exercise is affecting my judgment.

7) And on the topic of strollers, my Phil and Ted's is AWESOME! I took the wee gentlemen out for a walk today and it was a dream.

8) The Laurie Berkner Band has this album, Rocketship Run, that always calmed G down and lulled him to sleep in the car. And he was a really bad car infant. As in, I could never come to a complete stop. If I saw a red light approaching, I'd break out in a sweat. Well, apparently E is also bad in the car, and was crying this afternoon, but as soon as I popped in the CD, HE FELL ASLEEP. It is a magic CD. MAGIC!

9) I am learning to do the whole cloth diaper thing. It's not so bad. The wraps actually make it pretty simple.

10) I don't have anything to say here, but I feel the need to fill this list out to ten. So there. TEN. DONE. NIGHT!

Out of the Frying Pan...

I made it.

I wasn't sure a few times, but I made it. A four month old and a sixteen month old sure can take it out of you.

Whew.

I think tomorrow will be better. We all just need to get in a routine.

Now, I need a shower and I need bed. And maybe a quick shot of vodka.