11.02.2009

Secret Secret Blog

Have you ever thought of starting a secret blog? Or for me, it'd be my SECRET secret blog. Because I'm pretty sure most of my family and many of my friends do not know I have this blog, even.

But you can never be too careful.

An overview of what I'd write about?

Well, let's see.

Denial.

Dysfunction.

Douchebaggery.

The three D's, I guess. These days, I'm knee deep in all three. I'm exploring different ways of dealing with people. I'm being more passive aggressive than I ever thought possible.

In short, I am being pushed to the edge of sanity. And I could really, truly write a book about all the gems I've been fed of late, and it would probably be a bestseller in comedy. Or horror. Not sure.

For instance, I have been informed that luck is the only factor that determines what happens to you in life. That people who are successful and pay all their bills on time are simply LUCKY. Who knew?! What have I been doing working all these years?

Seriously. Denial with a capital, gigundo, monstrous D.

Also, did you know that it is the job of our overworked, underpaid teachers to raise our children...homework is just cruel. No parent should have to actually sit down with their child and READ to them or participate actively in their education. That's what we have dad-gum teachers for. Shoot.

Good to know, good to know.

So, in short, all the ideals and morals and work ethic I've employed in my adult life are futile. Because the only reason I'm a responsible adult is because I am simply LUCKY. And, as soon as G is in Kindergarten, I don't have to pay any attention to him anymore and I can leave it to the school to raise him up good.

OMGWTF#!(*(#@&!$()#$!!!!

Maybe I will write a book. Cause seriously? You can't make this sh*t up.

3 comments:

audrey @ the lewis 4 said...

Funny you should post this cause I've totally thought the same thing this past week. Except my family and some friends DO read my blog and there's stuff I just will not post since my parents and in-laws read it. I'm totally debating the super secret no one will ever know it's me blog! :)

*Lissa* said...

You lucky girl, you. ;p

That's some fucked up shit, yo.

In my book, you are a WONDERFUL, COMPASSIONATE, SMART, FUNNY woman and I totally love you. ;p

Christie O. said...

hahahaha! yes, so LUCKY YOU ARE! i know people who say that about school too and it drives me nuts.

love "douchebaggery". i must use that. lots.

and oh i so wish i could have an anonymous blog, one where i can curse like a trucker and air my rants. but i'm such an open book someone would find out about it. i'm sure. a girl can dream though!