11.17.2009

Okay, Nevermind. Still Mad.

I am pretty outspoken on my blog, but in real life, well, I guess I kind of let people walk all over me. I'm virtually trampled before I'll stand up for myself, and by that time, you can probably imagine, I EXPLODE.

People, the sleeping giant is rumbling to life.

It might not be pretty.

There will be much rubble in my wake (verbal rubble, that is).

This is the second night in a row that I've been sitting here typing, literally shaking. My insides are quivering with anger. Just when I get to the point where I can breathe, I hear more ridiculous stories being woven by, again, the person for whom I just GAVE UP TWO MONTHS OF MY LIFE.

Being like this SUCKS. I do not enjoy drama. Drama is for high school. I'm 31. I'm done with the drama!

So, the question now is how I deal with how I am feeling. Sitting here and stewing is not the answer. But I am afraid to confront anyone until I am in complete control of my emotions. Okay, emotion. Singular. And that would be anger bordering on rage.

What do I do? I honestly can't decide. Do I forgive and forget? Generally, I'd let all these awful things being said about me slide. But she was saying things about my child too. He is 22 months old.

What would you do?

4 comments:

megant599 said...

The regular me wouldn't speak up either. But the me that I'm working on being tries to be more assertive. I think it's best to act towards whatever outcome we eant/expect to achieve. If we want them to know how we feel, we tell our feelings. If we want them out of our lives, we tell them they're out, and if we want them to change...we probably rethink our wants. No doormat are you and you are in control of your actions alone. People like them aren't going to change because they see you are mad...but you might change by showing them.

I'm always here if you want to vent!

Heather D said...

Megan, you are SO SMART. Love you xx

*Lissa* said...

I took a stand against my in-laws. It was ugly at times, but today I believe we have reached a point where none of us our close, but they do finally show respect to my hubby and I, and know that if they want to have any part in our children's lives, they cannot trash those children's parents.

I think you should tell them how you feel. Even if they don't care or change, you will feel better knowing you stood up for yourself.

XOXO

audrey @ the lewis 4 said...

I'm soo non-confrontational. Unless it involves my kids - then I'm full on Mama Bear. I'm working on being better at standing up for me (instead of just my kids) but it's tough. I hear ya there. I do think you should address it. My 2 cents. Good luck.