Still Here

Holy crap. I just realized a few minutes ago I haven't posted here for a week.

A WEEK. That is just insane. A few months back, I hardly missed a day. Sometimes I posted twice a day.

Don't get me wrong. I want to write. I probably should. But I'm exhausted. And when I sit down, the words get stuck. I don't know quite what to say.

I usually rely on funny. I'm not feeling so funny these days.

Most days, I'm up at the crack of dawn, caring for my son, then checking on my mother in law. Her mornings start with a horrible coughing fit, which usually subsides within about ten minutes. The radiation is definitely making it better.

The rest of the day is spent in a flurry of doctor appointments and errands. Cooking high calorie meals and coaxing my mother in law to eat. Charting medications. Sanitizing.

We are intimately acquainted with the cancer treatment facility where she is receiving treatment. I am incredibly impressed with everyone we have come into contact with. Today, I had to bring G along to the radiation appointment, and one of the techs emerged from his office with a foam bat and ball and had an impromptu baseball game in the hallway while my mother in law received her treatment. G was in heaven. Everybody got a belly laugh from his crazy antics. Nothing like a hyperactive child screeching with glee in a cancer treatment facility to lighten the mood!

We are about a week and a half in, and I'm finally catching my breath. We are finding a routine in all this craziness.

I hope to get here more. Hopefully write about something besides cancer. But maybe that's what I need to do right now. Maybe I need to forget funny for a while.


~Mendie~ said...

The reality of cancer is soo draining for everyone involved, glad you are starting to get some air. Still juggling as much, but somehow it will slowly become more managable.

we are here when you are ready to talk...funny or not...we love ya!

AnnG said...

I think this is what blogging is really all about...telling and talking about the here and now...no matter what it brings. Praying for your mil and your family as you guys go through this.

Andrea said...

It is rough. I don't know if you remember my aunt and cousin living with us in high school when my aunt had cancer. It is a nasty disease. You're doing a good thing being there for her. Try to make sure you are still taking care of yourself! Don't worry about all the other stuff and just live in the moment, enjoy the time you have.

that's the story of my life... said...

You are amazing...I only pray that I have a daughter in law like you..Hang in there and POST damn it...I miss you!