Adventures in Shopping

Today I went to Old Navy. I figured it was safe, because school is back in.

I had a mission. Skinny jeans. IKNOWSHUTUP. But there is a purpose behind them. I needed something to go with my super sweet Def Leppard t-shirt that I am wearing to THE DEF LEPPARD/POISON concert tomorrow. Woot!

So, I'm in the store, and it's busy. Which is no fun when you're pushing around one of the carts they have that you can strap your kid into.

Which my kid can now unstrap. Lovely.

Things were going downhill fast. G is the worst shopper in the world. It's like he has a concentrated version of the male shopping aversion gene. The whine starts the minute we enter any kind of retail establishment.

I located the jeans pretty easily and started quickly looking around at a few other things.

(By the way, you know you're old when you have to ask the salesgirl if something is a shirt or dress.)

At this point, G unstrapped himself, stood up in the cart and announced at the top of his lungs 'ALL DONE!'

I scurried back to the dressing room, tried on the jeans (ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO BE SO TIGHT?), fought with G over opening the dressing room door and finally decided they'd do and quickly dressed.

The line at the checkout, of course, was a mile long. G would not sit in the cart, so I was holding him and letting him empty the contents of my wallet. That soon was not entertaining enough, so he turned into a limp noodle and I set him down and attempted to hold his hand. Then came the jello legs.

Seriously, isn't 20 months a little young for this?

After an eternity, there was an available checker. I'm holding onto my child with one hand, throwing things onto the counter with the other, and trying to answer all her questions.

I handed her my card, and she asks 'Do you want to open an Old Navy Card today?'

Bless her - how cute. She really thought I'd spend an extra 10 minutes at the check stand with my child reenacting scenes as Damien from the Omen.

'No thanks. I think I'd better get out of here before he gets REALLY mad.'

At that comment, she looked frightened, and bagged me up - stat.

So, mission accomplished, but I sure do miss the days of leisurely shopping and trying things on. These days, it's rare for me to actually go to a store, I normally shop online. For obvious reasons.

But, there is a silver lining to this tale of woe. When I got home, I tried on the jeans and ... wait for it...

THERE ARE ZIPPERS ON THE ANKLES.