Deli Karma

Ahhh, the grocery store. I used to actually enjoy grocery shopping, but with a child in tow, it's a completely different game.

Today I had to do the weekly shopping. Usually I save it for a weekday night, but we were low on everything, so it was a must. Plus, its super hot and muggy right now, and I figured the store's AC would be a nice break.

I have a pattern when I shop. I walk in, and directly to my right is the deli. Brian likes to take sandwiches to work, so sliced deli meat is always the first thing I get. The line was long, but I hopped in to wait my turn. George was fairly well behaved at this point.

Thanks to some deli clerks who were running in slow motion, by the time it was my turn, G was starting to get a little whiny. He likes to be moving in the grocery cart. Anything else is unacceptable (I've been known to run down aisles and just knock stuff into my cart when he's starting to crab). I was just about to ask for my black forest ham, and this woman steps right in front of me. I was a little shocked, but didn't say anything. But inside I was fuming. I'm just a LITTLE passive aggressive.

She says," Do you have any pico de gallo - I mean good pico de gallo? The stuff in the refrigerated section isn't good pico de gallo, it has jalapenos. I can't have jalapenos, they're too hot." The poor clerk looked confused. She wasn't sure what exactly was in the pico de gallo, but she said she'd go check the container it came in.

A few notes here:
1) Good pico de gallo is made fresh. So if she was wanting the *GOOD* stuff, the deli counter at Albertson's probably wasn't the best place to look.
2) I would venture to guess that most commercially produced pico de gallos have hot peppers in them. Most likely jalapenos.

The deli clerk comes out. She tells pushy lady that the pico had serrano pepper in it, which is just like black pepper and offers a sample.

Oh yeah. I had a feeling this was going to get good.

You see, serranos are hotter than jalapenos. A lotter hotter.

At this point I had a choice - speak up or stand back and enjoy the show. Under normal circumstances, I'd have probably advised regarding the heat of serranos and direct her a few doors down to Trader Joes, which has a lovely assortment of prepared salsas.

But these were not normal circumstances. I had a simmering baby, had been sweating like a pig all day and was tired. I was up for some entertainment.

The clerk passed the lady the sample in a little white paper cup. She sniffed it and then took a big ol' bite. I waited.

A few seconds passed - then pow! She started jumping around and saying 'hot, hot, hot.' Like a five year old. Over dramatic a bit? It was priceless.

She ran over to the cold drink section, cussing.

I sidled up to the counter and got my freaking ham, enjoying how the universe came through and punished the cutter. You don't cut off a woman with an infant at the deli line. Nothing good will come of it.