Attention, Please!

Hey peeps.

As you know, I've been having a torrid affair with my OTHER internet home, The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.

Well, I have to come over here to let you know, that if you've been kicking around the idea of losing some weight, have we got the challenge for you. Shrink for Good. Not only will you be challenged to lose weight, you'll be donating food to your local food bank in the amount of pounds you've dropped. Cool, huh? Please go and read all about it - you'll be inspired, I promise. And by the way, you DON'T have to sign up with Weight Watchers to do this challenge. If you don't want to spend the money, or can't afford it, you should try Spark People (it's free!).

And, if you've just been wanting to work on your fitness, and you are the owner of a Wii Fit, we're also starting the 30 Day EA Active Challenge tomorrow. If you haven't tried EA Active, well, it's a hoot. And it's a good workout. I promise (all these promises today, but I'm SO EXCITED!).

In other news, I really do have a lot to write about personally , but am struggling with HOW to write about it. I've literally sat, staring at my computer screen for hours, knocking out drafts and then deleting them. I know writing would help me sort out my head, but how much is too much to share?

How do you decide what to broadcast out into cyberspace and what you keep to yourself?

Food For Thought (Possibly Nightmares)

I guess last week I jumped the gun on the food picture.

And this week - well, let's just say I haven't really made any 'pretty food'. I haven't been in the mood.

It has, fortunately, helped out with the weight loss.

So my pictures of food...well, they're maybe not that appetizing. Let's just call this photo exercise a lower middle class version of MTV Cribs. You know how they always show the contents of the fridge and kitchen? Yeah. No Cristal Here. Just Crystal Light.

Exhibit 1: I really need to clean out my fridge. I have way too many science experiments going on for my taste.


The Costco sized eggs and Go-Gurt are literally collapsing a shelf. Thankfully, the ginormous Costco mayonnaise is there to prop everybody up.

Exhibit 2: And I need to clean out my freezer. Stuff falls out on my husband every time he opens the door. Resulting in a few swears. Just a few.

You see that ice cream? I haven't touched it in a week. Amazing. Or the Eggos. But I am eating that Ezekiel Bread. Everything is okay with peanut butter and bananas...

Exhibit 3: At least my canned goods look nice. But you don't get to see the uncropped version of this photo. It's not pretty.

Exhibit 4: Dinner.

Exhibit 5: Who wants to come do my dishes? I'll pay you $100. They're still sitting in there. Gross. I HATE DOING DISHES.

Exhibit 6: This is what I did instead of dishes. Mmmmm. Tea.

Go on over to I Should Be Folding Laundry where you'll hopefully find some more appetizing food!

Deep Dark Past

I don't talk about this a lot, because it kind of pains me to admit it.

I was a cheerleader in high school.

Most of the time, I manage to push this fact into the distant recesses of my memory. And then, I do something to bring it front and center.

Like today. Little grumpy dictator was having a massive meltdown in the living room. I think he wanted yogurt(YOOOO-GUT)or to nurse (NUSSSSSSS) and I wanted to distract him. I started beckoning him down the hall to his room to look at some books.

And then it happened. I broke out in cheer.

Oh yes.

L-E-T-S-G-O, Let's Go, Let's Go, L-E-T-S-G-O, LET'S GO!

He stopped in his tracks and looked up at me with his little puffy red face. And then he burst out laughing maniacally.

Hmmmm. Now I have to see what other cheers I can remember. Hey, if I have to live with the shame, I may as well use it to my advantage in deterring tantrums.

So Much To Say

One of the craziest things about blogging (for me, at least) is that I find that I have to censor myself. A lot. You probably don't believe me...

No, I really do. Because YOU NEVER KNOW WHO READS.

So, I'm in a situation right now that I'm just dying to spout off about. Like, seriously. I am so pissed off I could just punch someone in the neck. Not randomly, I do have someone in particular in mind.

But I can't. And it sucks. Not just because venting would make me feel so much better, but it would probably be the best damn post I've ever written because I'M SO AMPED UP right now. Like I've had 20 cups of coffee in 20 minutes.

Realistically, I'm probably having a panic attack. Fluttery heart, sweaty palms...uh yeah.

I'll leave it at this...just when I think that people can't possibly be any more selfish and horrid, well, they just have to go and do something that blows the lid off.

(Just so's not to be ominous, if you're really dying to know, email me and I'll fill you in.)

That is all for now. I wish I had a heavy bag right about now, to punch the hell out of. But I will try to be very zen about this and go make myself some tea.

The Red Headed Stepchild

Poor, poor blog.

I've been neglecting you. I've been posting up a storm over at the Sisterhood, while you've sat patiently, waiting.

I wish I had something cool or interesting of vaguely funny to post on you.

But for now, you'll just have to be patient with me. I'll love you up soon, I promise.

xoxo
Mama Sass

Classy, Defined...

B came home from Chicago late last night, and we were going through all the amazing photos he took as he regaled me with stories from his trip.

Of course, all I really wanted to hear about was the food.

The last night they were there, he said, they went to a 'really fancy restaurant'.

I asked him if he ordered a Long Island Iced Tea, because when he was actually in Long Island a few weeks back, he'd had plenty.

Yes, my husband is THAT guy. The one who orders Long Islands IN Long Island. He also said the servers did not make fun of him for ordering the Long Island in Long Island. Clearly, he has never worked in the restaurant industry. We used to make fun of people for trying to be fancy and ordering the pink wine.

After I asked about the Long Islands, the following conversation ensued:

Me: So, did you order a Long Island?

B: No, this place was way too classy to serve Long Islands.

Me: So what did you have?

B: A Sex on the Beach.

I laughed for like ten minutes straight. Because I never in a million years thought I'd hear the words 'classy' and 'sex on the beach' in the same sentence.

You Know That Old Camera?

I had to pull out my older than dirt camera (well, for an electronic, its old) a few days ago. I took a bunch of shots, and then plugged it in to my computer.

And there were photos from three years ago that I'd totally forgotten about. It's kind of like back in the day when we used film? And found an old roll?

Like a little time capsule, a present.

Unfortunately, it looks like my camera was dropping acid back in 2006. For instance, I can't even begin to figure out what this is:


If you squint for this next one, you can see our dog, Carl, and out cat, Violet, who is actually sitting with me. She did this for the first week after she came to live with us, and hasn't let us touch her since. Except when she was in heat, and that was just gross. GROSS. There is nothing more annoying/disgusting than a cat in heat. And yes, Bob Barker, she is now fixed. The end.



This one is from my high school reunion. All these children are now in high school I think (okay, maybe grade school). Too bad you can hardly tell they have faces...


But then, lo and behold. The one photo that turned out. It is pristine. Do you know who this is?


Yes, it is Mr. Horror himself, Stephen King. And someone who is giving me the stink eye for taking a photo in the background. Awesome.

He did a book signing at my former employer. They used to have stuff like this all the time. During work hours. Back in the glory days.

Not excessive or a distraction or anything...and they were surprised when they had to lay off half the company?

Ahem. Memories...

Peace Offering

This week's You Capture almost didn't happen.

Why?

1) Peace? Oh my God, I have photographers block. This is the first time. Beth has finally stumped me...

2) My husband is in Chicago and took my crappy camera to take pictures of architecture (the nerve). But I remembered I had an old digital in a drawer, and amazingly, it still works. My Olympus circa 2003. It's a freaking dinosaur. It literally creaks when I start it up. So I am shooting this week with an even crappier camera.

3) I had a busy few days and forgot to really ruminate on what I needed to go and shoot.

Shoot.

So, here I am today, out watering the garden, when I notice something gleaming and red out of the corner of my eye.

Could it be?

Oh, sweet Jesus in heaven...my tomato plant finally decided to ripen some of those bad boys that have been hanging out for like a month, green, taunting me.

Look!


A PEACE OFFERING. Oh yeah, it's a stretch. But aren't they gorgeous (click to enlarge to really feel the LOVE)? Tomato plant must have sensed I was going to rip it up by its stubborn roots and go buy my tomatoes at the grocery store.

So thank you, Tomato Plant, for my dinner, and my photographs.


(Yes, they were delicious. Nothing in the world like a homegrown tomato. Nothing. Bliss.)

For some more peaceful shots (and hopefully less of a reach!) head on over to I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Peace out.

Drumroll, Please...

Today's' the day!

If you don't know already, I'm one of the newest contributors at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, along with Christie. We found out on Sunday, and since then have been caught up in a whirlwind of technology and general craziness. Not to mention getting to know our other Sisters (and Brother) better.

Let's just say last night we had a chain on GMail that was over 100 emails long. Good times, good times!

We're starting up a couple of new challenges soon, one with Weight Watchers called Lose for Good and another with EA Active for Wii. Check 'em out! If you're interested in losing weight, getting fit, or just being healthier in general, there is no time like the present, and the Sisterhood is AWESOME. For reals.

I'll be blogging over here about my fitness and weight loss adventures, so be sure to hop on over once and a while.

So, after all the buildup, that's my news! No, not the lottery, my brother is not getting married (Andrea, I was rolling on the floor over that guess) and I don't have a new job.

But after getting the news on Sunday, I kind of felt like I'd won the lottery, and after getting to know my new team over the last few days, I'm pretty sure I actually did.

Wiped

B has been in Chicago since Sunday morning, and I am wiped out. He's gone till Thursday night, or maybe even early, early Friday morning, depending on flight delays. Last time he was out of town, I jam packed our days with visits and outings. This time, I thought we'd just lay low at home.

I think being as busy as possible was better. Because it makes the time go faster. And breaks up the monotony of meal, play, read, meal, play, nap, snack, play, TV, meal, play, bath, read, bed. It's like Groundhog day around here.

Tomorrow, we're going somewhere. Anywhere. Well, not anywhere - somewhere G approved so I don't have a repeat of the grocery store incident the other day. The one where he chucked his toy car at some unamused lady's head. Oops.

On a positive note, I have been super busy with that cool thing I can tell you about tomorrow. Almost there!

So, I've made myself a cup of tea, and I'm going to watch St. Elmo's Fire. Okay, realistically watch it for ten minutes before I pass out on the couch.

Titillating, I know.