7.19.2008

Mommy Wars?! WTF? (F Stands for Fudge Now That I'm a Mom)

Two weeks ago I had never even heard of this term. Now I see it popping up everywhere. From what I gather through my blog hopping is that it is the tension between mothers who work in the home versus mothers who work outside of the home.
The first thing that really caught my eye and got my goat was this book called
The Happy Housewife by Darla Shrine - this quote is pulled from her book and from Andrea's post on her blog-
That is why so many women stay in their careers, because they just can’t cut it. You have to be strong, confident, and selfless to give up your career, give up your identity, give up a piece of yourself—all for your family’s best interest.
Pretty inflammatory if you ask me. I mean, this quote really, REALLY bothered me. To the point I really stewed over it. Then, reading around on other's posts on the subject, I started to get angry.
What it really boils down to, for me at least, is that I would love to stay home with my child. We are just not in a financial position for this to be an option right now. And it's not about me being selfish and wanting to have an extravagant lifestyle - it's about us paying our mortgage on our modest home. So I suppose I get a little defensive when I'm informed I'm making a choice to work outside of the home .
Eventually I'd love to be at home with my children and my hope is one day that will be an option. I can't say that I'm not envious of women who get the choice. I admire the fantastic job many are doing with their kids. That said, I also think there are some women whose children would be better off in daycare...that's another post entirely!
So this whole 'mommy wars' thing - what's the deal!? If we are doing the best we can to raise healthy, intelligent, loving children, I don't see the argument or the need for the condescending comments (again, back to this Darla Shrine person). Teaching your children to be respectful and open-minded is the aim here - and I think the 'mommy-wars' battle is missing the boat. I found this the other day. Its by a work at home mom and I love her for writing it. Thank you, and thank you to all you work at home moms who are doing their thing and not being judgmental over what the rest of us have to or choose to do.

2 comments:

Andrea said...

I know. It is like a whole bunch of women, discontent with their own lives thinking the grass is greener or whatever so they decide to shoot each other down. Neither world is quite so rosey and definitely has its pluses and minuses. Anyway... some days I wish I worked!!! And I totally agree about some kids probably being better in day care. I'm related to a couple...

Heather said...

Exactly. It's like both sides are trying to justify. Just yucky!