Hey there.

Um. Hmmm. What day is it? Where am I?

I need to face facts. Newborn bliss has faded. I am tired and my life revolves around boobs and poop.

Don't get me wrong. I adore my wee babe. But good god, I forgot how annoying massive boobs are...seriously. Ouch. And how little sleep I can have and still (kind of) function.

And last week, I hit a big wall and ended up calling my doctor, sobbing. I actually scared myself...anxiety like I'd never experienced, crushing anxiety. And I was so irritable and impatient. Forget about a short fuse...I had no fuse.

Suffice it to say, my doctor immediately wrote me a prescription for antidepressants and scheduled me to come into the office asap.

At first, I was absolutely gutted that I needed help. That I couldn't handle things on my own. I don't like to ask for help.

To be honest, I'm still struggling with it - I didn't have PPD with my first child. Why now? What's different?

Logically, I know that this is something I can't control. It's an imbalance. My hormones are all out of whack. And my doctor assures me it'll get better.

Emotionally? I'm kind of pissed. I'll get over it, and I know I made the right decision in seeking help.

For now, I just want to enjoy this precious short time that Baby C is sweet and tiny. I need to remember to soak it in...time is fleeting. I don't want to wake up from this haze and realize I've missed anything.

- Posted from my iPad! I know!


AnnG said...

I'm so glad that you sought help!! It WILL get better and things will find a happy place soon!! Hang in there....and take it one day at a time!! {HUGS}

Mommy Mo said...

I wished we lived near one another. When are oyu bringing the babe for a visit?!!!! Love you, girl. It takes a very strong person to call for help.

Andrea said...

Those insane hormones (and boobs). The joys and pains of being a mother to a newborn. Good for you for getting help right away. I can't tell you how many people I've heard say "looking back I can see I had PPD but didn't get help for 6 months (a year, never, etc."

It gets better!! At nearly 8 months I only have to feed the babe a couple times a night and get up with the 2 year old once or twice and never with the others. HAHAHAHAHA!!

Roo said...

Being a new mom for the first time or 10th time is tough, yo. Good for you letting your dr. know you needed help. HUGS!