No Axe Murderers Here. (Texas, Day One)

If you'd have told me a few years ago that I'd meet a bunch of people online and eventually travel halfway across the country, by myself, to meet them all? I would have laughed in your face. Heartily.

Especially because I'd made a hell of a lot of fun of my poor brother in law when he was in the wedding of a couple he'd met online playing World of Warcraft (okay, that is still pretty high-larious).

So Friday morning, when my husband dropped me off at the airport, his concern was almost palpable. But, I assured him, I have pretty good intuition. And every bone in my body told me that I needed to go. To Texas. To B.F.E. Texas. Where there was no cell phone reception. I told him that if they were all axe murderers, it was like the most elaborate axe murdering plot in all the history of axe murderers and I had to go because it was that good. He didn't think that was so funny.

I sat in the airport, nervous, but so excited - giddy, even. My flight was delayed. And the asshole who checks your boarding pass made me check my carry on. It wasn't too big, there were just a bunch of other assholes who took their TOO BIG carry ons onto the plane and I think he thought I wouldn't put up a fight. I barely avoided a Meet the Parents situation (bomb bomb bomb bombbomb bomb bomb bomb). But after six hours at an airport or on a plane, I was there.

Lisa met me at the Austin airport. We loaded my luggage into the 'minivan that can' and off we went to San Antonio, chatting the whole way like we've known each other forever. And we met these hookers for dinner.

Clockwise from left: Christy, Lisa, Amanda, Me, Tiffany, Kirsten, Thea (OMG, I just realized Elaine is not in the photo...she must have taken it.)

I'm pretty sure I had the best fajitas I have ever had in my entire life. Did you know that they put melted garlic butter on their tortillas in Texas? True story. Manna from Heaven.

And there was a mariachi band. Unfortunately they were only playing sad mariachi music. It was kind of pissing me off.

We rolled ourselves out of the restaurant and took off on the two hour trek to Christy's in the hill country. Leakey, to be exact. After following the wrong black Tahoe for a bit, we were finally headed in the right direction.

And, I witnessed the most amazing thunder and lightening storm I've ever seen. Crazy. CRAZY. Kudos to Lisa and the minivan that can for delivering us safely to the banks for the Frio River.

Our long anticipated Hooker Retreat 2010 weekend had officially begun...