The Skinny

From time to time, I'm pretty sure I made some comments about skinny jeans and how I'd never wear them. You see, I try to live by this motto:

If it's already been in style once in your lifetime, you're too old to wear it again.

So you'd probably be surprised that yesterday I got a package in the mail from J Crew with a pair of gray matchstick cords. And they fit. No spillage over the top. This may be some kind of miracle.

I wore them in public today. With motorcycle boots. And my big sunglasses. That's how I roll. If I'm wearing something that I'm unsure of, I rock the glasses. To hide the fear in my eyes.

Also: I purchased skinny jeans about a month ago, and they've been seeing regular rotation in my wardrobe. Unbelievably, they are comfortable. And, most of the time, skinny jeans are NOT low rise. Which I'm SO over. Nobody needs to see my crack when I bend over - which is all the time, wrangling the toddler.

To wear said skinny pants/jeans, there are a few rules, for me at least:

1) Under no circumstances shall scrunched down socks or puffy Reebok Freestyles enter the equation.

(True story, my cheer leading coach in high school had a pair of these babies to match every outfit. However, she was totally allowed because she was in a Paula Abdul music video - I think. And she taught us some sweet 80's moves. I can totally kick ball change like Pat Benetar in Love is a Battlefield.)

2) The correct size must be purchased. Trying to squeeze into too skinny skinny jeans is absolutely not a good idea. Unless you want your uterus in a vice.

3) I always wear my skinny bottoms with long tops. At least past the hips. On that note, if anybody ever catches me in a half shirt, have me committed because I've gone insane.

I still have not succumbed to acid wash. And I saw a photo of HAREM PANTS the other day and yeah, I can pretty much guarantee I'm not going there. I'm just not that cool. Um, I was NEVER that cool.

And they better not bring back the Hypercolor. Because I'm a heavy sweater and nothing is more uncool than drawing attention to the fact that you are sweating like a hooker in church.


*Lissa* said...

I had those sweet Reeboks in pink. Hypercolor in orange/yellow.

Where's the photos of the skinny jeans, skank?

Andrea said...

I must look in the wrong places because nearly every pair of skinny jeans I've ever tried on (and didn't buy) were way too low, causing much more than muffin top. I found some at a "mom" type store and they fit great, fit at my real waist (well, not WAY up there, but where I prefer) but they unfortunately have been washed 10+ times and still stain my legs. WHAT? Now how's that for a run on?

~Mendie~ said...

Oh yes...we need to see pics! You sounds hawt in your biker boots and sunglasses!

Cracking up over the hypercolor...did you by chance ever pair yours with the jean shorts that had suede patches on the front? Was that just an Ohio thing? Got mine at Jean Scene...oh the memories!

Heather D said...

Andrea,got the jeans at Gap. They are not too high in the waist, but definitely NOT low rise. And they are VERY stretchy. This is important.

Pictures? Ok. I'm on it.

Brooke said...

there was a girl in my college (i graduated in 2001) who wore the doubled up colored scrunch socks every day. i kid you not.

Karena said...

Great post -- makes me laugh when I remember some of the things I wore. And shudder, too. Not sure skinny jeans will ever be in my closet, but love that you're rocking them!