5.29.2010

Why Can't I Just Not Care?

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you could just not care? Seriously. Like just walk away, not care, turn a blind eye?

Sometimes, I think my life would be a lot simpler if I had that ability.

Recently, I tried to turn over a new leaf and be more open minded, loving, accepting. To be more helpful and less judgmental.

Because deep down? I like to help people. So I tried my hardest. I tried so hard it made my head hurt and my heart ache. I tried so, so hard.

But, I've come to realize, some people do not want my help. They don't want help at all.

Also? I've realized that no matter how hard you try, not everyone is going to like you. There may be no good reason, but it is what it is.

My personality type really takes issue with being disliked. I've never done well with people not liking me, especially if I dig deep and am really honest with myself and I still can't figure out why they don't like me.

Yes, I'm whining. But I truly struggle with this.

And some days, I really question the value of empathy. Don't get me wrong, I value empathy, but can you care too much? Is it a waste of energy and emotion to make kind gestures towards people who continually throw it back in your face?

9 comments:

Kelli said...

I just had a day like this myself... No matter what you do, some people just don't like it when you're nice.

I got your back!

~Kelli @ Smidgens

Audrey said...

I have no awesome answer for you because I am exactly the same way.

Kirsten said...

There will always be someone that takes advantage of you or doesn't appreciate the help they asked for. But that shouldn't stop you from caring about people. We can have a long conversation about this in San Diego. I've perfected the "caring but not gonna get hurt again" persona. ((hugs))

Brooke said...

would totally have my compassion button removed if i could. sometimes carrying that deeply sucks. but its what makes you the fantabulous person you are.

*Lissa* said...

I totally am the same way, but I am getting better about just not wasting my time for those who don't want it.

Dr said...

I too wish I could "not care" sometimes. But something that helped me a great deal was when I read that support or help (such as you are offering to these people) is only as good as they perceive it. That is has to match what they want or they don't see it as help at all. So if we're dealing with selfish people who want us to give them money or something but we're offering emotional support or something healthier, they don't see it as helpful at all and we end up feeling like we have given too much. It's like using a feather duster to clean up an oil spill. The wrong tool can make the mess even worse. But it doesn't mean we should stop dusting:)

Dr said...

I don't know why the heck my new identity is calling me just Dr...so pretentious!

the story of my life... said...

I am so right there with you! I wish I did not care. I dig deep all the frigin time trying to find what is wrong with me..sucks.

~Mendie~ said...

I am a people pleaser too and it really irkes me when people just don't like me for what I deem as no good reason.

Don't stop loving and giving just because others don't appreciate it...the ones that do make it worth while! Just be sure to love and give back to yourself every now and then!

Good luck this weekend Heather...you rock and I am so proud of what you have trained so hard for!