I work with a man about my dad's age who is constantly dropping these colloquialisms that have obviously been around for a while but I've never heard. He is an absolute pro at slipping them casually into conversation. I'm totally jealous.
Some of his latest gems:
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
Busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
I don't know why, but these seriously crack me up. I got to thinking - why is it that middle aged men are so good at hokey sayings and really, really bad jokes? I think I want to be good at these things too. So I'm starting a collection.
Some more I like:
Hotter than a redheaded roofer in Palm Springs in July.
It's like trying to herd cats.
Raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.
Got any good ones? I need some dorky one liners for the holidays.