The Poop Chronicles

I would really love to be able to say I have more to talk about than poop.

But I don't. My life revolves around poop right now.

Potty training is going really well. Except for number two. G absolutely refuses to go in the potty. Not even for chocolate chips. Not even for TWO stickers. Not even for a chance to go to the train store.

Clearly, I'm not above bribery.

The other day while at my parents, I had the bright idea of letting him go in their raspberry patch and eat to his hearts content. I mean, there's no way he'll be able to hold it once he's eaten his weight in raspberries.


Wrong. He held it and held it and held it. He ran around the yard clutching his little bottom. He begged for a diaper.

I finally convinced him to go poo poo in the yard like a doggy. Then I followed him around with a shovel. Not one of my proudest moments.

And yes, I know this is questionable parenting. But seriously, I can't deal with the poopy undies. Beyond gross. (I did see Thea's suggestion on my last post to let G change his own poopy undies and I've taken it under advisement).

Preschool starts in about three weeks. Admittedly, I don't think we're going to have him fully potty independent by then, we may have to postpone enrollment for a month or so.

But good lord, I could really use those three hours, two times weekly to chill. And by chill I mean run around like a madwoman trying to run all the errands that are nearly impossible with two kids in tow.

And I also fully realize that if my son ever reads this post, years down the road, he will be mortified and will probably be putting me in a horrible nursing home.

But really? He really should be changing MY poopy underwear. It's only fair.


ZDub said...

This made me laugh, I feel your pain. Zoe would only poop when she was FOUR while sitting in a tree in my parents backyard.

It does get better, I swear.

Love you,

raveandreview said...

Oh my goodness, I so feel your pain! L is going through the exact same thing, which is why she still wears a diaper for bed (AKA pooptastic bedtime ritual that has GOT TO STOP). I have begged, I have pleaded, I have offered dollhouses... nothing! Why can a kid be so willing to go #1 but not even consider going #2?? Besides the whole #2 thing, we're entirely potty trained as well, but I feel you on not really calling that "trained". Side note - where's G going to preschool? L is going to a co-op this year and I'm a bit nervous!
leanne (at) raveandreview (dot) com

Heather D said...

Hi Leanne! We are going to United Methodist in Edmonds. We toured and I really liked the program & facility. And I am totally nervous too!

Anonymous said...

LMAO! I love that you scooped his poop. That's awesome.

It does get better. Does he have anyone around his age that has already learned? Peer pressure starts young, yo.

Christy M. said...

Oh Heather, I wish I had wise words for you, but alas, I do not. BJ was #1 potty trained well before he even considered pooping in the potty. I bribed, threatened, pleaded, prodded, screamed, and even cried. Nothing worked. I bought cheap underwear from Walmart because I finally just started throwing the really nasty accidents away. And then one day, it just clicked. End of story. (He was 4, btw, which I know will probably send you over the edge, so I'm sorry!!) He also wore pullups at night until he was 5, because he couldn't make it through the night, dry. When he was 5, I started waking him up at midnight and taking him to the potty and he would stay dry at night. One night, he started getting up on his own, and the rest is history.

On a happy note, Mia was fully potty trained before she turned 3. Well before she turned 3. Actually, there wasn't even any training. I bought her underwear, she put them on, and she had like 3 accidents. It was SO AMAZING. I'm sure Charlotte will be just like her ;)

Hugs and hooker love.

Paula said...

I can't believe you let him poop the the yard! That is so funny! :)