I can't believe how long I've gone without posting.
Actually, I CAN believe it. My motivation level these days is pretty low. I really got to thinking about it the other day and realized that deep down, I kind of feel like I'm doing a half-ass job at everything, but not doing anything really well. And it's got me down.
It's times like these when I'd really love the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. Not that moms that stay at home have infinite amounts of time, but what could I do with those 40+ hours a week I put into my job and commuting?
Some weeks it's all I can do to cook some meals, slog through the laundry and keep the house in some semblance of order. Believe me, none of those things are getting done well.
And getting the maintenance type things done, well what happens to things like playing with my son? This is the part that makes me the most upset. I'm not even doing a good job running the household and even that mediocrity is cutting into me taking care of the most important things.
As you can imagine, the family, the house and my job leave me no time for myself. Which I expected, but I feel like I can't even take care of myself. I'm eating terribly, getting zero exercise and you can imagine what that's doing to my self-esteem. Not good.
I have no answers. I don't know if I should consider hiring someone to come in and clean once a week (or every two weeks). It feels like a cop out. And I don't know if I can justify the money. I do my best to cook and freeze meals, but that only goes so far.
This is a vent, more or less. I'm pretty resourceful so hopefully I'll figure something out. But suggestions are good. And writing this down feels better too. Whew.
Okay, rant over. Back to work.