I Love Sugar But This is Ridiculous.

I am sitting in the waiting room at the OB with three other pregnant women. We are watching the Ambush Makeover segment on The Today Show and all of us are crying.

In our defense, it's a really happy/sad story (they made over a woman suffering from MS who is wheelchair bound).

Oh, hormones.

So, I'm not just hanging out at the doc for fun. No, I'm here cause I flunked my first glucose screening. As of this moment, I am a little over halfway done with my three hour screening. What does this entail? Fast for twelve hours, get blood drawn, drink a God awful glucose drink, which I'm pretty sure is similar to what they put in hummingbird feeders, wait an hour, have a blood draw, wait an hour, have a blood draw, wait an hour, final blood draw.

Did I mention you can't eat? And that the Today show featured Paula Deen this morning?

Baby girl is going absolutely insane from all the sugar. It's a orange glucose drink fueled dance party in my uterus.

This test is to determine whether or not I have gestational diabetes. Fingers crossed I pass this test!

In the meantime, I am meticulously and obsessively planning what food I am going to hoover in exactly two hours...

Because Gestating is Not Enough...

To Do List Before #2 Arrives:

1) Play Musical Bedrooms. G's room will become the nursery. Our room will become G's room. The front guest bedroom/office will become our room. Did I mention I have to clean out all three rooms and purge all the junk? I've been chipping away at it, but I have no idea how we've accumulated so much crap in five years.

2) Decorate Said Rooms. Paint. I think that's about all I can handle. I've picked out the nursery theme after about two months of agonizing. I wanted something girly but not over the top. Mostly, I didn't want all pastel - and this is what I chose:

[Yes, it's Pottery Barn. I tried to go all indie, but PB kept pulling me back in. Don't judge.]

You see that tiny bit of aqua in the corner of the bumper? That's the wall color. I think. So yes, there's a little pink, but the red kind of toughens it up a bit. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

3) Convert the Garage into a Family Room. I'm actually laughing at myself as I type this, because I think the chances of this happening are comparable to winning the lottery. We need the space so bad. But I'm thinking this will stay firmly on the to do list.

4) Have Some Kind of Garage Sale. Or, in alternative, rent a Uhaul and make a trip to Goodwill. Or have a massive bonfire in the backyard. This last option may become more viable the more stressed and crazy I get.

5) Potty Train G. Just kidding. This is a pipe dream. I've read all the books. I've tried several methods including just putting underwear on him and watching him like a hawk. Inevitably, I turn my back for five seconds and there's an accident. Am I getting judgment? Yes. Mostly from older relatives who are like, JUST FORCE HIM. Yeah. That's a great idea. I love the idea of scarring my child for life so things can be more convenient for me. Plus? I'm guessing even if I got him 'trained' by the time baby arrives, he'll regress. So potty training goes on the back burner. I'll just keep telling myself that he won't go to Kindergarten in diapers.

6) Pick Baby's Middle Name. Okay, I don't usually put my older child's name in this blog, but I'll this one time tell you (or maybe when she's born too) baby girl's name: we're calling her Charlotte. This has been our girl name for long before G was born. So now we need a middle name. I have a few in my head, but usually my ideas are poo-pooed immediately. I'm thinking maybe I won't bring it up at all and just use the one I pick when I fill out her birth certificate info? Cunning, I know. But I'm open to suggestions. I grew up with a super vanilla middle (and, let's face it, first) name, so unusual is good. Just no crazy spellings. That drives me nuts.

7) Stock the Freezer. I did a pretty good job of preparing and freezing meals before G was born and it was a life saver. I need to do the same this time, but I need some ideas. I usually do turkey chili, spaghetti sauce and a bunch of soups. If anybody has any easily freezable recipes, sent them to me...please! I'll love you forever. Not that I don't love you already...

I know there's much more I need to tackle. Those are the biggies.

Oh. I forgot something.

8) Try Not to Lose My Mind. It might be too late...

All is Calm

Christmas package shipped? Check. (Yes, I lied. Actually, they didn't even ask me if anything was hazardous as I had a crazy monkey child swinging from my arms).

Dark chocolate truffles with sea salt made? Check. Need to give them away, promptly.

Bailey's on ice? Check. I forgot how delicious this stuff is. Num.

Tree decorated? Check. Though half the ribbon has been pulled off courtesy of G-Rex. Gives it character.

Babysitter booked for tomorrow so the hubs and I can have a shopping/dinner date? Check! My father and step-mother in law will be arriving at three so we can do some damage at Toys r' Us. I think we're more excited about going to play than we are about our quiet dinner. I LOVE Toys r' Us. Love.

Good book and cozy jammies? Check. I'm finally getting around to reading The Angels Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. I'm only about 50 pages in and it is already delicious. He is a beautiful writer, smoky, mysterious, heady. If you haven't read him, you must. Start with The Shadow of the Wind. Ah-maz-ing.

Tonight, I'm good. Totally content. Now, if I can win my Fantasy Football match this week, I'll be one very happy girl. Fingers crossed.

Oh, the Butter!

Tonight, I commandeered the television and watched Julie and Julia. Yes, I have to take hostile and evasive action to watch a chick flick.

Did I like it? Yeah. Not as much as the book (how often to people actually like the move BETTER than the book?). But let's put it this way: I stayed awake. That's saying something.

Two other things:

It made me feel guilty because I am being so lazy about blogging.

It made me very hungry. I am highly suggestible as far as food goes. I haven't been watching Food Network lately because it is not conducive to weight loss. Top Chef? I love that show SO much, but watching the creation of so much glorious, beautiful, delicious food? Torture.

Julie and Julia even made me want to go out and pick up a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

But that would be like an alcoholic picking up martini glasses, just to have them around. For decoration. Since putting the cookbook into actual use would cause immeasurable suffering around my midsection.

I looked wistfully, angrily at my Weight Watchers cookbook as I was turning the lights off in the kitchen tonight. It was mocking me.

NO BUTTER FOR YOU. No souffle. No omelet. No duck l'orange.

(Okay, not like I'd actually whip any of these up)

On that note, I DID manage to finagle a cookie recipe out of my mother in law that my husband is crazy about. However, the recipe calls for two ingredients I literally had to hunt for: vanilla powder and golden syrup. And once I got home and read the recipe, I realized it is very cryptic about how to actually BAKE the cookies and I had to try baking them several different times. The final round got a 'Well, that's CLOSE.'

Really? REALLY? Whatever. I WILL figure these cookies out.

And that will take a lot of BUTTER.

Newborn

If you've been reading a while, you may have noticed I love to cook, and once and a while will post recipes. I love to cook, but wasn't too keen posting a ton of recipes on my personal blog...

So, as of a few days ago, I decided to start a blog solely for food. It's called Mama Cooks, and you can find it here.

Now don't get too excited. I only have two posts as of right now. It's still in it's infancy. But I'm hoping I'll be able to use it as an outlet for my foodie self.

If anybody is wondering why I struggle with dieting so much, it will soon become clear. I'm hoping to explore healthy fare, but don't worry, I'll definitely post some ass-expanders from time to time. I am married to a man with a tapeworm, after all, and he requires massive intakes of fatty food.

He and I, we're the real life incarnation of Jack Sprat and his wife.

Mangia!

To me, this means summer is upon us.



The Caprese. If I have all the ingredients, I will dine upon this daily.

Tomatoes, fresh mozzerella, basil, olive oil. A drizzle of balsamic, fresh cracked pepper and sea salt.



Dive in.

Baked Good Trauma

Today I felt like baking.

So I baked. Cookies and bread.

Here's the problem - I'm not one of those people who does therapeutic baking and then gives it away.

No. I also like to EAT what I bake.

I should have known it would end like this. Me, huddled in the corner, clutching the cookie dough caked wooden spoon, licking it and snarling like Gollum...myyy PRECiousssss.

And once the cookies are baked, I will need to just TEST them every time I pass by. My house isn't big. I'll be passing by, oh, say EVERY TEN MINUTES.

While we're on the subject of obsessive tasting, let's talk about warm bread, fresh from the oven. I also have homemade raspberry jam.

Why, God, why?

This is not going to be pretty.

Cheeseburgers & Vampires

I love Twilight. And I love burgers.

And on this f-ing diet, this is how I FEEL about cheeseburgers right now.

Num. RAHR!!!

And Another Pound Bites the Dust...

I feel heavy today. You know when your body just feels like you're wearing a vest full of weights? That everything you ate the previous day is just hanging out, refusing to make it's journey through the digestive tract? Like every cell in your body is completely full of water like a saturated sponge? Yeah, kind of like that.

Very much dreading weighing in this morning, I made myself get on the scale before even a drop of coffee had passed my lips.

And even though I had a not so great food week, I still managed to lose a pound.

Thank you Jillian Michaels!

Everything logical would point to me actually GAINING this week. You see, I was stupid enough to make cupcakes for Easter and think that other people would actually eat them. But no. So there they were, in all their cupcakey glory, sitting on my kitchen counter for days. Yesterday, I woke up, and there were still about six left, and I put them in the trash compactor, covered them with gross, stinky garbage, and smashed them. Because if I put them in the regular garbage they might look okay to eat later (shut up).

And then there was the candy. Thankfully, nobody brought me any creme eggs. That would have been the end of it for me. Creme eggs are my crack. But there were still jellybeans and robins eggs. Oh Easter candy, why must you be so incredibly delicious?

My saving grace this week had to be the Shred. I did it every day except Monday night, and I feel awesome. I'm still on the first workout, but it is getting easier, so I think I need to consider moving to workout two. Though I still suck at the push-ups. I HATE PUSH UPS!

So, for week three, here are my results:

Start weight: 182
Last week's weight: 179.8
This week's weight: 178.2

I'm dying to find out what I can accomplish if I eat right and do the Shred together. Hopefully, next week I'll hit the scale and just be AMAZED. Or even just mildly surprised.

Tightwad Tuesday: Freezer Food - Breakfasts

I like cereal out of a box. But not for breakfast. If I'm going to eat breakfast, I want something hot. And with a small child, finding time to make anything wholesome and fresh in the morning is sometimes impossible.
Convenience food is tempting - it's so easy to throw it in the toaster or microwave. Unfortunately it's a budget (and diet) killer.
Last year, when I was still working, I went on an oatmeal bender. I don't like the little packages but found this great frozen oatmeal at Trader Joe's. I got to thinking, how hard can it be to make this from scratch? So I did. Here's the link to the recipe for freezer oatmeal. It's healthy, filling, inexpensive and quick. Did I mention inexpensive?
Something else I started doing was making extra waffles and pancakes on the weekend and freezing them as well. G is obsessed with waffles, and I like that I can control what goes into the ones I make from scratch. How do you do it? Simple - make your favorite waffles or pancakes. Under cook them slightly. Layer individual waffles/pancakes between waxed paper, seal in a freezer bag and throw into the freezer.
When you're ready to use them, take out what you're going to eat and throw it in the toaster. That's it - so simple!
For more tightwad tips, scurry on over to Being Frugal.

Your Significant Other Will Not Thank Me For This.

I love Greek food and have never been able to get my tzatziki the way I like it - the way it is in restaurants.

Until now.

I have unlocked the secret...

Greek yogurt.

Since I've cracked this recipe, I've been walking around sweating garlic. You know, when you burp garlic for days...you brush your teeth a trillion times and your sweetie still recoils in horror? Yeah, like that.

It is SO worth it.

Here's the recipe. It's so easy.

You'll need:

1 pint Greek yogurt - yes, it does come in fat free
1 large clove garlic, grated on a microplane (NOT the whole head, you don't want to kill anyone)
1/2 English cucumber, grated with a cheese grater (I prefer English or Persian to plain old cukes with seeds - but they'll do in a pinch)
1 T fresh dill, roughly chopped (or you can skip it you're not big on dill)
Sea salt to taste

Mix it all together and let it marinate in the fridge for a bit, at least an hour.

Eat with grilled chicken, on a Greek salad, on a pita, off the spoon.

Tightwad Tuesday: Make Your Own Yogurt

Back in the early 70's, my Aunt Cindy published a book full of recipes, tips and anecdotes called Out of the Molasses Jug. She is a very talented artist, and the whole book was hand printed and illustrated. It is difficult to find these days, but I have my old copy up with all my cookbooks. If you can find it, it's a really charming how-to book - how to live off the land, how to reduce your footprint, how to live naturally - quite ahead of its time, really.
I was thumbing through it the other day and ran across a total tightwad tip.
Did you know you can make your own yogurt?
To start, you'll need 1/2 cup plain commercial yogurt. From there, you can keep using the yogurt you've cultured from that starter batch to make your own. You just need to reserve a bit from each batch.

Here's the recipe:

Warm a quart of milk in a saucepan (whole, skim, whatever you like). When milk comes to almost a boil, remove from heat and allow to cool till lukewarm - about 110 degrees - where you can stick your finger in it and it feels hot but endurable). Add 1/2 cup commercial yogurt, or yogurt from an earlier batch. Stir well with a wooden spoon.
Pour into preheated jars or earthenware containers. Wrap snugly with a couple of kitchen towels and place somewhere where the yogurt will not be disturbed.
In three to six hours, a firm custard like curd should form. When this happens, refrigerate.
When you're ready to eat it, combine the culture with three cups milk and one large can of evaporated milk premixed with 1/2 cup powdered milk.
This will keep in the fridge three to five days.
I like mine sweetened with a bit of honey. This is also good in place of sour cream or in lieu of mayonnaise in dips.

For more tightwad tips, head on over to Being Frugal. And stay tuned for more fun stuff from Out of the Molasses Jug. It's a gem!

Tightwad Tuesday: Dying Veggies

Confession time: I'm awful at using all the produce I buy. I stock up on all kinds of fresh veggies with the best of intentions, but eventually find them at the bottom of the produce drawer turning into a science experiment.

Yesterday, I was cleaning out my fridge and getting irritated with myself. There was lot in there that was just going to waste - wilting celery, bags of carrots that were looking a bit dry, half a bell pepper that was a little mushy (not rotten yet) in some areas. All of the vegetables were still edible, but would not taste so great fresh.

So, I made soup.

Soup is a great way to use up all the vagabond stuff in your fridge - not just veggies. Half a carton of chicken broth? Chicken carcass? Half and half you never got around to using (not rotten of course!)? All can go into a soup of some sort.

Yesterday, I pulled out my trusty Joy of Cooking and cobbled together this recipe, I call it:

Waste Not Lentil Soup (ha)

2 Tb Olive Oil
2 medium carrots, diced
2 medium celery stalks, diced
1/2 green bell pepper, diced
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves chopped garlic
4 cups chicken broth
1 cup lentils, rinsed and picked over
1 14 oz can of diced tomatoes with liquid (I was out so I substituted 1 small can of tomato sauce and a few handfuls of chopped up grape tomatoes that were going soft)
1 tsp thyme

Heat the olive oil and add the carrots, celery, bell pepper, onion and garlic. Cook, stirring until tender, about 5-10 minutes. Add the broth, lentils, tomato products and thyme.

Bring to a boil, reduce the heat and simmer until the lentils are tender, about 45 minutes.

That's it - I served mine with shredded Parmesan on top. This freezes well too - throw in the microwave for a quick lunch - and save money on takeout!

There are many more Tightwad Tips over at Being Frugal. Check them out!

TIghtwad Tuesday: Breadcrumbs

Lately I've been working on being more frugal. I have to admit now that I'm at home full time it's actually easier - when I was working I was all about saving time, which doesn't always translate into saving money.
But one thing I've always done is make my own breadcrumbs - and I don't use 'new' bread. Every time I get to the end of a loaf of bread, I'm usually left with two heels. I'm sure they taste fine but no one 'round here will eat them. I have a dedicated bag in my freezer to bread rejects. The heels go in the bag, also any bread product - hamburger buns, bagels, English muffins - that are just little too stale but still edible.
When the bag fills up, it's breadcrumb time!
Bring out the bag and let the bread thaw. Heat the oven to 200F. Pull out a bunch of cookie sheets or jellyroll pans - enough that you can dry out all your bread at once.
Tear apart all your bread products - by the way, it's fine to mix wheat, white, multi grain, pumpernickel, whatever - and lay them in a single layer on the cookie sheets. Place the bread in the oven for about an hour, more or less, until the bread is dried out. A good way to check is squishing some in your hand - if it crumbles and breaks, you're good. If it squashes into a ball, it needs more time.
Once the bread is dried, you have two options - you can crunch the bread up into crumbs by placing the bread in a big Ziploc bag and running it over with a rolling pin or beating it with a mallet. Both are equally satisfying, but leave you with uneven crumbs.
The second option is running the bread through your food processor. This will leave you with nice little uniform crumbs.
You can add dried herbs to spice it up a bit (if that's your thing), and store in the freezer. The crumbs will keep for quite a long time in an airtight container or freezer bag.
Head on over to Being Frugal for more tightwad tips!

A Food Winner (Alternate Title: How Many Times Can I Write Balls in One Post?)

Being a SAHM (stay at home mom or sweet ass hot mama) has it's benefits. One being I can actually dabble more in scratch cooking, which I really enjoy. I've decided to hone my mad skillz on my poor son.
G has moved into this stage where he refuses to be fed but is pretty unsuccessful with flatware. He'll get a bite or two in then use his spoon as a drum stick (the drum kind, not the chicken kind) or a utensil to feed the dogs. So I've been trying to come up with healthy finger foods - though some days chicken nuggets from the freezer are mighty tempting - for me and him. Man, I love breaded chicken. Okay, breaded anything.
The last two days I've had some success. Here's one: Sweet Potato and Chicken Balls. I need a better name for them, but it'll have to do for now.

You'll need:

1/2 large sweet potato, cubed
1 medium russet potato, cubed
2 Tb butter (unsalted or salted, your choice)
1 boneless, skinless chicken breast, diced
1 carrot, shredded or diced
1/2 small onion, diced
flour, for breading
oil (I used olive, you can use that or vegetable)

Put the potatoes in a pot, cover with water and bring to a boil. Boil for 12-15 minutes, or until they're mash-able. Drain, and mash with 1/2 the butter.

In a skillet, saute the onion and carrot in a bit of oil till they start to soften. Add the chicken and cook till done, about 10 minutes, depending on how small you chopped it.

Process the cooked chicken mixture in a food processor and add the chicken mixture to the potato mixture. Form the mixture into little balls about the size of large marbles. Dip the little balls into the flour to lightly coat.

Heat a skillet with butter and oil (oil has a higher smoke point and will help the butter from burning). Place the breaded balls into the pan and brown on all sides. Drain on a paper towel. Cool a bit and serve. These also freeze well - freeze them on a cookie sheet before transferring to a freezer bag.

PS. These are good for adults too. I ate a few for lunch with some salad.
PPS. You can also do these as mini pancakes. But then you don't get to say BALLS.

Makin' Baby's (Food): A Simple Tutorial

I've never fed G any food out of a jar. When I tell people this, I sometimes get comments like 'wow, you must have a lot of free time' - sha' right! While it does take a wee bit of commitment to get up and running, making your own baby food is super easy, economical (HELLO RECESSION!), and the best way to make sure your kiddo is getting the very best ingredients and a varied diet.
So, I'm going to hop off my soapbox now and actually tell you how to whip up some baby grub.

First, the gear.

Must have:
ice cube trays
blender or food processor
nice deep pot and a steam basket (this one is cheap and easy to clean)
sieve or fine mesh strainer
Freezer bags
Sharpie marker

Nice to have:
stick (also called immersion) blender - these are great if you have little space and can replace the blender/processor
food mill - good for grinding things like peas where you need to get rid of the skin

Next step - grocery shopping! To be very honest I'm not super vigilant about organic. B works in a nursery and is very knowledgeable on pesticides and the like, so I don't get too worked up about organic vs. regular produce. Especially for things like squash where you're going to discard all of the peel. But that decision is entirely up to the chef - that is the beauty of making your own baby food - you get to decide what goes into it!

Here are a few ideas for some easy, freezable first foods:

Pear - Peel and core, chop and steam. Cool and puree, then pour into ice cube trays and freeze.
Apple - See Pear.
Butternut Squash - Peel, chop and steam OR bake in the oven (pour a little water or orange juice in hollow and cover with foil) and scoop out the flesh. Puree, adding water to bring to the right consistency. Pour into ice cube trays and freeze.
Yams - Bake in the oven (this produces the sweetest taste) and scoop out insides. Puree like the squash. Pour into ice cube trays and freeze.
Peas - I buy frozen, no salt added. Steam the peas, puree and push through a fine mesh strainer or sieve to get rid of the excess skin - the skin is a little tough for beginners. Pour pea puree into ice cube tray and freeze.

You might ask why ice cube trays? I find they freeze just the right portion for a baby just starting solids. Once the food has frozen, I pop the little portions out into marked freezer bags. At mealtime, simply choose your food and pop it in the microwave for about 25-30 seconds. Stir vigorously to get rid of hot spots and check the temperature before feeding to baby.

That's it!

If you're still skeptical about the time this takes - take heed. It only takes about an hour, max, on a Sunday afternoon to produce enough food for an entire week - or maybe two. So it's really not too much of a time commitment.

Now, for a little inspiration. Once your child is old enough that you've tried a good base lineup of foods and ruled out allergies, you can start using more complicated recipes. I've found a couple of really great cookbooks for ideas:

Top 100 Baby Purees by Annabel Karmel - Easy to read, quick recipes and very tasty. This is a good book to start with, goes over all the basics of preparation and nutrition.
The Petit Appetit Cookbook by Lisa Barnes - This one is fun, creative and especially good if you're going the organic route.

I've gained so much from preparing all of G's food - I'm not home with him all the time, so it's a good feeling to know that when he eats meals while I'm at work, it's something I put time and effort into. I know it benefits his health and saves some money. And who doesn't want to do that these days!

Birthday Bonanza!

We had G's birthday party last weekend. Twenty or so people in our TINY (I mean tiny) house. It was snug. Poor dude only napped about an hour so we were teetering on the verge of a meltdown all day. Thankfully, there were lots of distractions.
One year old birthday parties are tricky. I mean, honestly, who are they really for? The kid doesn't care. So I tried to keep it as low key as possible. Early dinner, presents, cake, done. I tried to keep it as simple and inexpensive as possible, and I think I succeeded, less insisting on making the cake from scratch (but it was worth it!). Here's the menu and the links to the recipes:
Pulled pork on onion buns with coleslaw
Baked beans (from a can - seriously, why make them from scratch when the canned are so good?)
Potato Salad (family recipe, below)
Fruit Plate - thanks to my sis in law who brought a lovely plate full of melon and berries - yum!
Carrot Cake - this cake was super moist and delicious. I doubled the recipe and did two layers.

Here is the potato salad recipe. I will try to guess at the measurements - I don't think we've ever written it down.

Carter Family Potato Salad

10 boiled (till fork tender) and peeled russet potatoes, diced
10 hard boiled eggs, diced
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 cup chopped pickles
1 cup mayonnaise (my mom uses Miracle Whip - I refuse!)
1/4 cup yellow mustard
splash pickle juice
celery salt, pepper and salt to taste
paprika to garnish

In bottom of very large bowl, mix mayonnaise, mustard, pickle juice, and seasonings. Add potatoes, eggs, celery and pickles. Toss. Refrigerate a few hours before serving. Put a little paprika on top to make it pretty.

That's it. Simple and wonderful. A word of advice - mix your beans and potato salad. I have no idea why, but it's SO good.

Next year, I promise to do the out of hand birthday party, complete with the bouncy house, ball pit and magician...who am I kidding? I hyperventilate in Chuck-E-Cheese. We'll have to play it by ear.

Coconutty Deliciousness

I made this coconut cake yesterday for a baby shower. It was goooorgeous. And it tasted heavenly too!

A few bits of advice:
Watch the cake baking time. My oven is not very true to temp and the cakes could have possibly stood to have baked a little less.
Don't skip the parchment. I can't tell you how much easier the cakes are to get out of the pan!
To vary the cake a bit, skip the almond extract and add some key lime juice to the frosting.

Coconut Cake (from the Barefoot Contessa)

You'll need:
3/4 pound (3 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for greasing the pans
2 cups sugar
5 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons pure almond extract
3 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting the pans
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup milk
4 ounces sweetened shredded coconut

For the frosting:
1 pound cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon pure almond extract
1 pound confectioners' sugar, sifted
6 ounces sweetened shredded coconut

Make it:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease 2 (9-inch) round cake pans, then line them parchment paper. Grease them again and dust lightly with flour.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar on medium-high speed for 3 to 5 minutes, until light yellow and fluffy. Crack the eggs into a small bowl. With the mixer on medium speed, add the eggs 1 at a time, scraping down the bowl once during mixing. Add the vanilla and almond extracts and mix well. The mixture might look curdled; don't be concerned.

In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. With the mixer on low speed, alternately add the dry ingredients and the milk to the batter in 3 parts, beginning and ending with dry ingredients. Mix until just combined. Fold in the 4 ounces of coconut with a rubber spatula.

Pour the batter evenly into the 2 pans and smooth the top with a knife. Bake in the center of the oven for 45 to 55 minutes, until the tops are browned and a cake tester comes out clean. Cool on a baking rack for 30 minutes, then turn the cakes out onto a baking rack to finish cooling.
For the frosting, in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, combine the cream cheese, butter, vanilla and almond extract on low speed. Add the confectioners' sugar and mix until just smooth (don't whip!).

To assemble, place 1 layer on a flat serving plate, top side down, and spread with frosting. Place the second layer on top, top side up, and frost the top and sides. To decorate the cake, sprinkle the top with coconut and lightly press more coconut onto the sides. Serve at room temperature.

Diggin' the Duggars

I've obviously had a little going on, because I never got around to mentioning that the Duggar's had their 18th child on December 18th. Yes, her name starts with a J (Jordyn-Grace). Notably, she was born via C-Section. I would think that the 18th child would literally just walk out.
So I'm wondering if Michelle and Jim Bob are expecting yet again. It's inevitable, right? I can't even imagine being pregnant for about 14 years (17 pregnancies - 1 set of twins). Ugh. UGH!
Anyhow, I was on their site and they have a whole section of recipes. If you are very into canned condensed soup (mushroom, chicken, etc) I highly recommend it.
I also learned what Bragg's Liquid Amino is - it sounded like something you'd put in the laundry. But I guess it's like soy sauce...who knew?
So, I am impatiently awaiting the announcement of Duggar child 19. Until then, eat up that tater tot casserole.

Big Fat Pan of Cheesy Love

I'm always on the lookout for a good go-to recipe. And it 's always an extra added bonus when it's versatile - suitable for a dinner party or for a lazy Sunday afternoon. This lasagna fits the bill. It's not fast, but its great cooking therapy - you know, when you really want to spend time in the kitchen. I know, I know - rare, but it sometimes happens!

This is adapted from a Tyler Florence Recipe. He calls it "Drop Dead Lasagna". And the man does not lie. It's that good. I have changed a few ingredients and cut the recipe in half. The original is massive. It would feed 12 very hungry adults easily. This one is a little easier to find a pan for and will feed a hungry family of four with leftovers (and this lasagna does improve with age).

A few tips to make this a bit simpler:

- Use bagged, preshredded cheese.
- Jarred Marinara sauce works well, just avoid the sweet ones, like Ragu or Prego.


Grocery List:

1/2 lb lasagna noodles
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/2 Onion, diced
2 Garlic cloves, minced
3/4 lb ground beef
1/2 lb ground pork
1/2 Tb fennel seeds
1/4 Tb red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp brown sugar
1/4 Tb dried oregano
1/2 (3 oz) can tomato paste
Salt/Pepper
1 lb ricotta cheese
1/4 cup fresh grated Parmesan
1 Tb dried Italian seasoning (mixture of basil, oregano, parsley)
1 egg, slightly beaten
1 lbs shredded mozzarella cheese
2 cups Marinara Sauce

Fill a large pasta pot with water and place over high heat. Add a generous amount of salt and bring to a boil. Cook the lasagna noodles for only 8 minutes; they should still be somewhat firm, as they will continue to cook when you bake the lasagna. Drain the noodles in a colander and rinse them quickly under cool water to stop the cooking process. Drizzle some olive oil so the sheets don't stick together, the set aside.

Heat a large skillet over medium heat and drizzle with {about 2 Tb} of olive oil. Saute the onion and garlic for a couple of minutes, until the onions are translucent and smell sweet. Add the ground beef and pork, stirring to break it up, and cook until the meat is thoroughly browned, about 10 minutes. Drain out the excess fat. Combine the fennel seeds, red pepper flakes, brown sugar and dried oregano in a spice mill or a coffee grinder, give it a whirl, and sprinkle on the browned meat. Stir in the tomato paste until well blended; season with salt & pepper. Take the pan off the heat.

In a large bowl, combine the ricotta and parmesan cheeses. Fold in the Italian herbs and eggs, season with salt and pepper, and mix well.

Preheat the oven to 350. Take inventory of the components you should have now: slightly cooked lasagna noodles, seasoned meat mixture, ricotta cheese filling, 2 pounds of mozzarella cheese, marinara sauce and a medium (my pan measures about 11x8) glass or ceramic baking dish. Let the layering begin.

Start by ladling enough sauce into the dish to cover the bottom; in my experience this prevents the lasagna from sticking. Layer 1 -- the noodles: slightly overlap 4 lasagna noodles lengthwise so they completely cover the bottom with no gaps. Here is a little tip: if you take 2 lasagna noodles and line the short ends of the pan, they will act as brackets or a wall to give the lasagna support when you cut it. Layer 2 -- the meat: spread half the meat mixture on top of the noodles with a spatula. The meat mixture, being the most solid element, will act as a foundation. Layer 3 -- the cheese: spread half the ricotta cheese mixture over the meat, smooth out with a spatula, and then sprinkle a third of the shredded mozzarella evenly over the ricotta mixture for that stringy cheese pull that you know and love. Layer 4 --the sauce: top with a full ladle of tomato sauce, about 1 cup; smooth it out with a spatula. Repeat layers 1 through 4. Finish with a final layer of noodles, tomato sauce and the remaining mozzarella. Tap the pan lightly on the counter to force out any air bubbles and to compress the layers.

Bake for 1 1/4 hours, until golden and bubbling. Allow the lasagna to sit for 20 minutes so it doesn't ooze all over the place when you cut it into squares.