Grammatical Sabbatical

Maybe it's from being out of work for a while. Or maybe being out of school for a LONG WHILE. But something horrifying is happening to me.

I am not proofreading. And I'm finding typos all over my muthatrucking blog - and not intentional, like muthatrucking - accidental, stupid mistakes.

I'm serious. This is like almost the end of the world for me. I am the proofreading master. The typo terrorist. The comma nazi.The bad mamma gramma(r). The super speller.

And now, well, I just don't even know myself anymore.

How could I let this happen? How could I let myself go like this?

WHEN DID I START RELYING ON SPELL CHECK? I used to laugh at those people. Especially my old boss (an attorney) who liked to type pubic instead of public on court docs. Ho ho. Good times, good times.

I have a B.A. in English. For. Fred's. Sake.

I am mortified. My blog deserves better than this! Next thing you know I'll be writing and anyways or for all intensive purposes and substituting pacific for specific.

Or, the very worst case scenario. IRREGARDLESS. I'm not joking. If I ever write that again, hunt me down and beat the shit out of me. I'm not kidding.

No really, I'm not kidding.

Progress (And the Infamous Water Table)

I am slowly but surely ticking things off of my to do list. We are having house guests from Thursday through Saturday, then a Father's Day barbecue at our house next Sunday.

Did I mention that I thought Father's Day was today until about three days ago? Suffice it to say, I felt like a moron and we shuffled and rescheduled to have the shindig on the actual day. Which is probably good, because there is no way I'd have been ready today.

What did I accomplish today?

Well. Let me tell you.

I finished re-covering my re-purposed outdoor chairs!

The chairs and table used to be our actual dining table. Yes, checkered marble on metal. Glorious. But, for outdoor, it's kind of fun and kitschy. The old chair seats were the same fabric as the back.

Except our clinically insane cats had clawed them to shreds and they were covered in cat hair.

Did I mention we left them out all winter in the rain?

I managed to salvage the foam from the seats (we haven't had rain here in weeks and I laid them it out to dry on the patio during the day. Add a staple gun and a little muscle (very little) - and my budget fabric ($4 a yard) and for under $30, I have an outdoor dining set. Score!

The next matter of business is my poor little garden. B was kind enough to install a sprinkler for me, and fertilize. The starts have been in the ground for two weeks but they're not doing so hot. B figured out the soil we had trucked in had not fully composted, so it's actually leaching nutrients from the soil and away from my poor veggies. Effing dirt.


I'm hoping for the best. My tomatoes are in pots and are doing very well. Whew. But B thinks that next year, once the soil is all happy, my garden will be much more productive. Fingers crossed!

And, for those of you who have been following my water table saga, I bring to you, without further ado, the toy itself (and my spastic dogs who make it into EVERY FREAKING PHOTO I TAKE).


G is pretty taken with the little squirty animals.

He is especially concerned about making sure they all make it into their cave.

Walrus and whale are safely tucked into their home, ready for night-night.

Crafts for the Craft Challenged: Tie Blanket

This year, in an effort to be thoughtful and frugal, I decided to make tie blankets for my nieces' and nephews' Christmas gifts. What you must understand about me is that I am terrified of sewing machines (I was sternly warned to stay away from my mother's as a child and I think it put an unnatural fear in me). So, the only blankets I know how to make involve no thread at all.

Thus, the tie blanket. You tie it together. I KNOW.

So, here is my first attempt at a pictorial lesson. Indulge me.

You will need:

- 2 same size pieces of fleece - I vary the size of the blanket on the size of the person. Also, I like to use a pattern on one side and a solid on the other

- Pins

- Very sharp scissors

- A large area to spread out the fleece. I've found a made bed works well, or a large piece of cardboard.

- A glass of white wine, so if you spill it on the blanket it won't stain. Red is okay if it's in a sippy cup.

Step 1: Lay the pieces of fleece on top of each other. If you're using a pattern, make sure the nice side is facing out. Smooth the fleece out and even the edges.














Step 2: Pin the fleece together at 6 inch or so intervals, whatever you need to keep everything together.














Step 3: On the edges, cut 1 inch wide, 4-6 inch long (depending on how fringe-y you want the blanket) strips. Go all the way around.














It'll look all fancy like this:

Step 4: Cut squares out at the corners, about 4"x4". You'll understand why when you tie.


Step 5: Start tying knots. Be careful not to skip pieces. Keep tying till you can't tie no more. Literally, not figuratively.

















It'll look like this. A little bunchy.


Step 6: Gently pull the bunchy out. You might hear a little ripping sound. If its from the fabric, don't worry. If it's NOT from the fabric, drink more wine, you probably need it.


Step 7: Stand back and bask in the glory of your domesticity.

I Know it's Early...I'm a Planner!

Even though it's our son's first Christmas this year, I am really starting to think about having a pared down Christmas - homemade gifts, family gifts, donating to charity in someones name are a few thoughts I've had.

So far, some ideas I've come up with:

Family Night Package: My brother and sister-in-law have family night every Friday. I thought it might be fun to do a 'movie night package' for some of the families we exchange gifts with. I found a great deal on cozy quilted throws, so I bought several. With the throw, I'll add a kid friendly movie, a big popcorn bowl, a few bags of microwave popcorn and some candy.

Fleece Blankets: My mom showed me how to make double layer fleece blankets (no-sew) about five years ago. That year I made my nieces and nephews cozy blankets and they all loved them. Now they've all grown quite a bit (and some weren't even born at the time) so I figure it's time to upgrade.

Treat Basket: I did these last year and thought it turned out well - Union Square Cafe Bar Nuts (these are freakin' fabulous), white chocolate peppermint bark, homemade hot chocolate mix, and a bag of coffee beans from that place where I work. I may try homemade almond roca this year. But I would have to use a candy thermometer and that frightens me...stay tuned.

I'm still trying to plot this all out. The plan is to not necessarily spend a lot, but put some thought and effort into gifts.

Anybody have any cheap and cheerfuls they want to add to the mix?